heres the story---with pictures (i was lucid enough to take pictures throughout)...
9:45 pm....i'm sitting at the
A stabbing pain goes thru the middle finger of my left hand--- a small wave of nauseau---a little light-headed---i jammed my finger on the table----??????----i steal a look---there is blood---and pain--lots of pain----not a jam----but i'm definitely in a pickle (c'mon---that was funny)
(the picture isnt very good---forgot to turn off my flash---BUT I WAS IN PAIN---and you can see the block of wood---yes---thats what i'm calling it---sticking out)
so i am nothing if not prideful---SO I DONT SAY ANYTHING!----and
MARY JONES is an E-STINKIN-R nurse! REALLY MERF? REALLY? nope----i finish up the meeting---get in the car (we had carpooled)---and i get home---finger wrapped in a napkin....throbbing----i burst into tears---calling for ace.
REALLY ACE? 10:20 AT NIGHT AND YOU ARE SOUND ASLEEP? WHAT ARE YOU? A TEENAGE BOY???????????? gosh!
so i sit and look at the finger---i think i've broken the nailbed---its kinda grayish---finger is swelling---the nail is moving a bit----i put a cold damp cloth around it---try to get my emotions under control---start trolling the house for nail clippers----FOR A WOMAN WHO LIKES MORE OF EVERYTHING I COULDNT FIND ANY NAIL CLIPPERS---SANTA?----i find tweezers--three of them----i start messing with the nail---then i realize its not my nail that i am moving---its a piece of wood.....a huge beam....
so i start pulling on it---each time a wave of nausea hits me----so i stop and assess the situation---i have to go to the hospital---dagnabit---david is in austin---ace is SOUND asleep---i can drive---but what if i cant drive home? dagnabit---i'm gonna spend all night in the e.r. for a stinkin sliver.
after an hour of pulling at it----i know i cant do it---so i go upstairs and wake up ace---i'm weeping---tell him he needs to take me to the emergency room--- he comes down in like 20 minutes (actually is just a couple---but it felt like forever)---he is dressed for seminary! 'NO ACE--NOT SEMINARY---YOU ARE TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL---I HAVE AN OWIE!' "oh----okay".....
apparently you have to be taught how to take someone to the hospital---i had to put the dogs in the back---lock the door---make sure he had his wallet---he didnt open my door for me---i see a fhe in our future on said topic----but he woke up and realized what was going on---and drove me safely to the hospital.
triage----tell the nurse that from 1-10 pain i'm at a 6 1/2....BUT I HAVE A REALLY HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE---shoulda said 8----cause thats where it was headed....they took me back and i was in a room by 11:45
12:15 insurance lady comes in to get my info---i ask her to send ace---he has my purse--phone---ipod---all my distractions.
12:30 i'm texting (one-handed---not the easiest) with jas about the situation----and in a lot of pain---
12:45 dr comes in---looks at it----we will use (spelling warning) litocaine to numb my finger---then pull the booger out. she warns me that the shot of litocaine is a very painful shot----thats okay---lets git her done.
1:00 P.A. comes in...ace leaves....he tells me the shot is going to be the worst---pours iodine on my finger---then saline---then we go for it....i'm expecting STABBING pain---not at all---but i am a beast--
he keeps on asking me if i'm okay---as he 'z's' around the needle in the base of my finger---yep---it feels like he is pulling up on my skin---its tight----its uncomfortable--- he does it twice more--- still okay? yep----then he pulls on the splinter---nay---the beam---the 2 by 4 in my nailbed..... "um---okay---that hurts"---so he stops---gives me a little more litocaine (yes---i will be googling how to spell that after i finish this)---i tell him to just pull it----so he does....and .....
aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.....and it slides out. whew.
2 1/2 cm.....i get a 'whoa' out of the p.a.---he assures me that i made the right decision to come in---i would never have been able to get that out myself....he goes to show it to the doctor...seems to come out clean--- so i get released about 145 to go to the 24 hr pharmacy for meds .... i get to pay $150.00 as i walk out the door---but the nurse does tell ace that i'm not to do dishes or make beds or take out the trash
2:30 a.m. ace and i are home---both a little wired---both exhausted
5:30 a.m. ace is up for seminary
...finger is still asleep---still puffy---but it looks okay---bruising where the shots went in....
here is my finger ready to go home---big bandage to cover up where the treetrunk ---closer to the truth, i think) was taken out.
thats my story---and i'm stickin to it.....by tomorrow i will have been impailed on a redwood.