this is me now


pray-ers most of you know....i am involved with community theater---Artisan Center Theater in Hurst to be specific....founded and owned by a couple in our church....and while there are usually somewhere between a handful to a group of LDS actors and crew involved with each show----that is not the majority----you find a wonderful mix of organized religion, non-denominationalists, spiritual---and so devout! 
we pray vocally before every show
we devote every show to God
we pray for people to be touched
we acknowledge our gifts from God

when someone is sick or hurting----small groups will gather right then and there to pray over/with that person---without a big discussion or finding the right moment----they just stop and pray

sometimes i think that as a "Mormon" i have the special phoneline to Heavenly Father---and i am so wrong!

open conversation of dedication to God---of going to church---singing in the choir---mission trips---serving others---all things we do---but, at least me---that kind of conversation doesnt rattle off my tongue easily.

it is so inspiring----i hear their prayers---true conversations with God----in the circle you hear occasional "amens" or "thats right" DURING the prayer......i love the open-ness----the matter-of-fact attitude of "well---of course we pray---of course we give God the glory---who wouldnt"

i---in my own little prayers----am trying to be more of a pray-er....more open with my spirituality and how it in part of my every fiber and every action.


breathing again----plus a p.s.

....with time...and random acts of kindness aimed my way...and the prayers of many...and family that loves and nurtures...and a very patient and empathetic husband....and a loving Father in Heaven....i am breathing---and i tear up even at the writing!

the stewardship league in my ward has sorta realized the mis-step----but that wound is deep and slow to heal (my fault)---the grief process is SO obvious----kinda in the angry towards acceptance phase---
and i am talking more---obviously---i'm even linking to fb----NOW THAT IS TRANSPARENT!

we still dont have an address---ace emails us every 3-4 weeks---wanted to buy Lucy---REALLY???  those emails hurt more than help---he remains listed as a missing person but we are pretty sure he is in south Dallas----idiot----stupid----rotten---miss him to the core

performing in Fiddler on the Roof at Artisan Center Theater and having a bajillion Dancing Moose gigs has helped----quiet is lonely.

but we suffer...we suffer...we suffer in silence (its a quote from Fiddler)

---and you KNOW!

 i NEVER suffer in silence!

ps---recent comments tell me that people are reading this as suffering----you can have pain but not suffer----i was suffering----now its just a dull---boring----to the heart and very sole---thru every fiber of my being---kinda feeling----thats all!  i dont cry everyday----and i dont think of it every minute---- so everyone chill---relax----move along----theres nothing to see here


I miss ace


Isaac vs Isabella

 crochet crochet crochet---bell is being blessed in new orleans on september 2nd....crochet crochet crochet crochet.....hurry hurry hurry.....and then

ISAAC! hurricane Isaac aimed straight at New Orleans---david and jasmine evacuated with their 3 little ones to his parents' home in Beaumont (and yes---there were a few prayers sent for Isaac to aim towards beaumont---but then i stopped that)....
crochet crochet---weather channel---weather channel----power outage----floods---security alarm goes off---David and Jas dont know what happened to their home---no one can go look at it during the storm---but the security alarm company called and said a back door was opened....and then the power went out...... hearing from friends about flooding-----crochet crochet crochet-----FINISHED! YEAH!

friday---aug 31---they decide to go home----have power! for about 10 minutes---then it goes out---we fly down there Saturday morning---power comes in about 10 minutes after we arrive---hallelujah! Their fence came down in the back yard---and they got a very little moisture in the garage---no door was opened---so they were blessed----they had friends who had just moved into their first home and had 4" of water and no power for a week (as of this writing---still no power!)---david hall spent 2 afternoons there pulling up carpet and floor---my david spent sunday afternoon there!

 we shop at walmart---yeah---shelves were empty                     this is a house near their church
                                     saw many light poles down----so many fences---so many power trucks and tree removal trucks.....people hit it right away to start recovering
HUGE tree came up right out by its roots! lucky it didnt hit their home
but we were here for a more blessed reason

jasmine and her girls----asleep

what a cute family!
                                                    bell in her dress (she borrowed Beth's slip)                                      

grandpa's favorite position
                                                 there was only one hour of church---and no microphone---but we got her blessed----and she looked beautiful---
                                             after church---Iva Hall, James Hall, Ben, David, Beth & Bell Asleep David, Jasmine and me
                                                even made her a headband to match her dress
                                                         grandpa (coach) with miss Bell

                                            grandpa with a smiling Beth!
                                                            Mr Ben ready for church
                                            Iva and coach got Bell this beautiful blanket
                                             grandpa can always get Beth to grin---not an easy thing!
                                              so I would say that Isabella was the winner!