this is me now


thankful for....

days that give me the opportunity to be reminded of how blessed i am.

Thanksgiving 2011---Jasmine, Ben & Beth had been here for 3 weeks---so much fun---got to play and hold and watch---grateful for time!    David Hall arrived Tuesday night...grateful for him letting us have his family for so long.  Leah & Joe and the boys came on Thanksgiving Day and stayed thru Sunday morning---the party is on!  My sister, Eden and her lovely husband, Bill came up from Lago Vista, TX (down by Austin) and stayed til Friday----grateful for having family IN texas! Eden brought up 5 GORGEOUS pies and a lovely fall flower arrangement---thankful for generous and tasteful people.  We were well on our way to a wonderful feast.

 J Howard Davis came for dinner and watched the Cowboy game for a bit as well....yay for a win!  Our menu was a combination of gluten-free, diabetic-friendly and traditional thanksgiving food...citrus-brined turkey, 2 kinds of stuffing, garlic & lemon green beans, my niece Jennifer's AMAZING won-ton sausage appetizer....mmmmm grateful for FOOD.

after the meal---david hall, joe, ace and david went out to the back yard to work on the playground installation....(see previous post).  We got out the push car, the double stroller and the POWER WHEELS (side note---having a son that works at goodwill and texts you pictures of the GREAT stuff that comes in---BONUS!----got it for $7 WORKING!).  Ben and Cannon had a great time 'driving'---yeah---now i see why we dont let 2 and 3 yr olds drive (yes---cannon just turned 3---*sigh* the kids are growing up :).  we headed over to the playground at the school across the street----Bill, Jasmine, Eden & I watched the boys run and jump and slide (Beth and Porter stayed in their stroller happy as bugs).  It was fun to watch Bill push Jonas on the pushcar....grateful for people who love my grandkids!

 eden happily took on the job of pushing porter and beth in the double stroller---not so easily done on a grassy field!
 beth and porter were all bundled up---thanks Great-aunt Eden for pushing the double!
 jonas loved having Bill push him in the pushcar.
 jasmine was always close at hand to make sure no veering was happening!
 the boys took turns driving the power wheels on the sidewalk (meaning on and off the grass) and in the parking lot of the school....they are such cute friends.
 Beth stood up on her own---what a great baby to let us get it on camera!  even Porter was interested!

that evening we played a rousing game of the Name Game---our favorite! twas a lovely day!


no-no to no-no

ace and i put up the tree today----and put back about 4 big buckets full of ornaments, nativities and other decoration we will not be putting up this year...all lovely---all very breakable....we also trimmed the tree on the bottom only with ornaments that we knew would put up with little hands. (the lack of lights on the bottom is due to last year's puppy, Lucy, chewing the heck out of anything in HER reach!)

in the past we have put our 'octagon' around the tree to keep the crawlers and toddlers from pulling the tree over or eating everything within arms' reach----but since our one crawler (beth "incredibles" hall) wont be here til a few days after christmas, we will hold off on enclosing the tree.

Leah & the boys will be here for a day or two this week---and i dont want to say "no-no" the whole time they are here---so instead i just wont put out what will break or be dangerous....Jonas and Cannon are both old enough (haha---really, merf?----2 is old enough?---have you ever SEEN a two year old?---tsk, tsk---so naive---so innocent) anywho----they are old enough to be told only once or twice a day "no-no---dont touch the tree"....grandma's house doesnt like being a no-no kinda place
 we also put up a playground in the backyard----our christmas present to ourselves---Joe, David & david hall (and ace before he went to work) worked ALL day the saturday after Thanksgiving putting it together----you remember that saturday? coldest and windiest day of the fall so far? yeah---that day---playground was finished at about 530---just in time for Ben Hall and Jonas nelson to go outside and climb up the climbing wall and go down the slide a couple of times before they froze---and jonas didnt care---he didnt want to come in.
 cannon went down the slide sunday morning before church---then realized "its cold!" and he was done.
david worked for about a week putting the accessories together and getting everything ready for
"the build" 
 jonas making his way up the climbing wall to the fort---looks like he is helping to build it!
(notice in the background of the picture with Jonas on the ladder---david hall is putting ben in time-out for pushing or hitting---i dont remember which---but david is saying "no-no" (haha---i thought that was funny)

along with that we redid our back family room area---make it more 'kid-friendly'---buckets-in-a-cabinet for toys with a tv/dvd for their movies and a futon for adults that want to oversee (and a place for ace to sleep while the girls and fams take over the upstairs)

 ace has declared this his 'mancave'---set up his game systems and 2 tv's (really---why 2?)---they will depart when the short men come to the house.

i'd much rather have a yes yes house than a no-no my pretties and preciouses will be put up for a year or two---or a decade or two---my pretties and preciouses (oooh---can you tell i've been watching LOTR lately?---picture me in a dishtowel type loin cloth---well, no---dont---anyway---back to my preciouses) are now 3 mo, 5 mo, 10 mo, 2 yrs, 2 1/2 yrs, 2 3/4 yrs and 3 yrs.


my future-moment

ace december 31, 2009
went to a "future-missionary" meeting tonight with David & Ace.  Got a nice invitation in the mail from the stake presidency.  Ace & I arrived (david was coming from another meeting and would see us there)---we got there a few minutes early (as i'm prone to do)---Pres. Vigil (1st counselor in stake) came up and greeted us and asked if I would play the piano for the meeting---"sure"---then Ace asked if they needed a chorister----Pres Vigil gladly accepted Ace's volunteering....told us the the songs and we went up to the stand.  It was a nice meeting---3 young men---one having returned from his mission 4 days ago!!!!----the other two within 3-4 months having returned home---each spoke and bore a strong testimony of how glad they were service.  Then the three members of the stake presidency all spoke about their missions.  I had to keep kicking ace to stay awake----as i'm prone to do----

then---it happened----

closing song----Called to Serve-----I'm playing the piano---looking at the chorister---as I'm prone to do---- and OH MY GOSH----its Elder Jeppson! I START STINKIN CRYING! thank goodness I know that song by heart---muscle memory ROCKS! i totally saw Ace as a missionary directing the music---hearing these wonderful 17-18 yr old boys out in the audience sing this song----my mascara is dripping down my cheeks---cant see a thing.  I was so proud of stinkin--falling asleep-grounded from electronics-chat my ear off-Ace!

its a moment i will hold onto when the other moments jump out at me!


even after 30 years----you still remember....

 I pasted and copied this post from cjane
 i still cry for couples i see experiencing infertility----even after 30 years---even after 6 children----its a deep pain that is hard to understand unless you have experienced it....I thought she said it wonderfully---so hear ya go:

Infertility is so much more than not having a baby in your arms.

That's why you can't hand your crying baby to the infertile woman at church and say things like, "Here, this will make you feel better. Aren't you glad you don't have to put up with this?"

The woman experiencing infertility doesn't want your baby. Certainly, your baby is squishy and lovely (even when crying) and smells so nice, but that's not it. That's not even a consolation.

Nor is saying to your infertile neighbor, "You should just adopt. If you adopt I swear you'd get pregnant. It's happened to like, three of my friends/relatives/coworkers."

Because, that's not it either. It's not about achieving some ends to a means. It's not about belittling adoption so you can achieve a pregnancy.

And adoption is not a scientific cure for infertility--and it's not an emotional cure either.

Infertility is an all encompassing state of being. It has the force to completely take over the core of a woman's belief about who she is and what she is capable of. It's not about having a biological baby or an adopted baby or a foster baby, it's about feeling whole even if no baby ever comes at all.

It's about overcoming those days when you are called to repentance (by well-meaning family members, or ladies at church) for "lacking the faith to conceive" or for being selfish because "what is taking you so long to have a baby?"

It's being able to love your body even though it's not functioning in a fertile way. It's about ignoring the statements like, "if you lost weight you'd get pregnant," or "the clock is ticking! you're getting too old," or "I don't know what the problem is, my husband looks at me wrong and I'm pregnant!"

It's the determination that no matter how family-friendly our culture is, or how valuable we pronounce motherhood or how we like to say well-meaning things like, "we're all mothers!" that the truth is we are all daughters of a loving Heavenly Father. And that isolated characteristic is mighty powerful in its own course. Anything else added to it is cherry, but not necessary for our eternal self-esteem.

My own battle with infertility ripped me apart. In those heavy years I felt every emotion given to mankind to feel. Jealously like a furious ocean. Anger, rage and self-directed disappointment. It wasn't just the inability to conceive, it was the inability to believe in myself.

There was a lot of misunderstanding everywhere I went.

BUT. There is a belief structure that we preach in our church based on a scripture in the Book of Mormon it says:

Ether 12:27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

If we come unto Christ, He will make our weaknesses strengths.

I'm not talking about being infertile for five years and then pregnant for the next four (which, as it turns out has happened in my experience). My weakness wasn't infertility which was washed away by strong fertility.

My weakness was not seeing who I really was, with or without a baby. I could only see myself as a person who wanted. I was incomplete. And upon getting (miraculously) pregnant I didn't suddenly understand, but somehow along the way I could see how the Lord took me by my hand and showed me my strength:

I am a daughter of God, and therefore entitled to intelligence, creativity, joy, inspiration and beyond. These are my strengths. Real strengths.

That is not to say there aren't residual wounds that came because of that inner turmoil (I am still working on forgiving some of those "helpful" remarks . . .) I feel I'll never get over the entire experience completely. And I suppose this is a post easier to write on the eve of having my third child. But I remember saying to myself during those extremely lonely years, "I want hope more than I want a baby." I didn't mean hope that someday I'd conceive, I meant hope that someday it wouldn't be so painful to be me.

This past week I was asked by Studio 5 to be a guest on their Sensitivity Training segment. They asked me to speak about how to talk to someone experiencing infertility. During the interview I said a phrase I didn't get to really explain "there's light at the end of the tunnel." It sounds so cliche and trite out of context. I didn't mean conception.

I meant: the light at the end of the tunnel comes when the light inside of yourself illuminates who you really are, and what you're really capable of.

That's when infertility becomes less about having a baby in your arms and more about gratitude for having experienced it.

another girl!!!!!

her name will be Siri
her due date is Nov 1st
anticipate white as porcelain skin---but will wear Cowboys blue!I can dress her up in SO many ways!

i have had my blackberry for 2 years

i have hated my blackberry for 2 butt-dials---it purse-dials----it is SOOOOOOOOOOOO slow in saving pictures-----the pictures are fuzzy and AWFUL!

my kids all have androids---they updated BEFORE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO---so when I called Sprint to upgrade 6 months ago---they said sorry---you have 6 months yet.....grrrrr.....I am the primary number!

but....fate stepped in----and last week Sprint got the iphone----and this week I UPGRADED---whoot whoot!

i use my phone a little LOT!  so i wanted one with a good camera---i wanted one that i would love as much as i love my itouch----VOILA!

Siri on iPhone 4S lets you use your voice to send messages, schedule meetings, place phone calls, and more. Ask Siri to do things just by talking the way you talk. Siri understands what you say, knows what you mean, and even talks back. Siri is so easy to use and does so much, you’ll keep finding more and more ways to use it.

Siri will call you by name! I'm so excited!


back again...

gotcha! not MY back---but i'm back again! in primary.....

it has been 23 years since i was in a Primary Presidency! I had just found out i was pregnant with Jasmine when I was called as primary president....LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago.

so 5 weeks ago I was called as 1st counselor in our Primary----working with the children 18 months to 12 years old....
I've missed the last 5 Sundays---between Pyper's birth---then Porter's blessing---then Pyper's blessing---been gone a today was my first actual day in Primary---and it wasnt a 'real' Primary---we were rehearsing for our Primary Program for next Sunday.

big fan of stickers

I am serving with Ashley Walker and also of this fame, Kim Dewey and Jesica Eastman----3 of the cutest little girls you would ever know---and yes---i can call them girls---I am totally old enough to be all their mothers! but they also each bring a very special spirit with them---so i'm excited.

In the 23 years since last i served in this capacity I have served with EVERY OTHER age group---and been primary music leader 2-3 times---

so i was a little worried---these are a bunch of little kids---and i dont have this age group in my home---but the minute i heard them sing all those familiar songs---saw their cute faces---watched them wiggle, pick their nose, scratch, wipe get the picture----it all settled in and i am so happy to be there!

wow---nothing sarcastic or cryptic or clever----what is wrong with me!?!


my back

cant sit
cant stand
cant lay down
cant bend over
but apparently i can type


Photo hacking

BTW - pics are being posted at random by Jasmine Hall with EXTREME bias. :) This is a blog-nap, folks! And any commentary will be added by Merf later-she is better at hilarious commentary than I am. :)
my clever--no wait---jas said "hilarious commentary" ---yeah---no pressure there---will be in the color of red for this post---thanks to jas for the pictures---albeit SIDEWAYS---she did say she hacked at 1 a.m.---go to bed, jasmine---go to bed!
we headed to disney knowing full well it was going to rain all day---but we had pre-purchased the tickets---so it was not an option to NOT go---3 babies, 3 double-strollers, 4 toddlers, one teenager, 10 adults---quite the crew to move around!
we got everyone ponchos to keep us as dry as possible---the boys were too small for even the child-size ones---so it was necessary to tie up the sides of theirs---they werent liking that a lot! we went to Magic Kingdom where most of the rides were toddler-friendly---this is Ben Hall loving the carousel!
Ben loved the Dumbo ride---even tho we were getting soaked!
we got all the boys matching orange mickey mouse t shirts---pyper and beth got pink onesies with minnie mouse ears---porter had an orange onesie with his name and mickey mouse ears on.
there is a great area in Disney where you can feed your kids---high chairs, small tables---a nice place to get out of the rain, eat, change diapers, nurse etc
leah is thinking of something---we stopped at an eating place to get out of the downpour and let the adults go on Space Mountain---Milo and Ben were asleep---as were Porter and Pyper----we played with Beth and chased cannon and jonas!
all of us in our rain-repellant finery---david hall, ace, joe nelson, me,leah...covering the strollers to keep the babies dry....barely saw porter or pyper!
david hall and ben on the monorail
because it was so rainy we didnt see many of the characters---but Cannon LOVED seeing Buzz LIghtyear---he's a big fan---Cannon talked about seeing Buzz for days!
On Sunday, we gathered at the church for the reason of the weekend---Pyper Lynn Webb's blessing.  Ben Webb's parents (lynn & judy webb) came in from Huntsville, Tx (they were at disney with us too---but jasmine didnt take any pictures of anyone but her kids apparently ----holla jas!)
Team Webb---Pyper is named for my sister pyper and both grandfathers---lynn webb and david lynn jeppson
pyper looks so much like Milo---and so much like Lyric at that same age---beautiful babies!
what a treasured photo---these three work very hard to stay close to each other---even if that means having babies at the same time! leah w/porter (8 weeks)....lyric w/pyper (3 weeks)....jas w/beth (7 months)
how the nelsons have energy to be fun, I'm amazed! Joe is in his 2nd year of medical school---leah is in her 4th year as the nurturer of boys---porter is in his 3rd month of this family!
dave and i do enjoy our babies' babies---milo and pyper in this picture
the hall family (ben was in the nursery)---living in new orleans seems to fit them well---david is an engineer at a Valero refinery---jasmine is a full-time student and chaser of all children Hall.
pyper looks like a doll---really---a doll---there is the hope of hair somewhere under that hairband! promise!
us with team webb
                                                                                  i look tired
ah---girl cousins! they dont know it now---but they will have to do a lot of plotting to keep up with the boys!
i love how the sons-in-law in the family are very friendly---we put them in charge of the pumpkin carving contest---very creative bunch this.
then we got the GREAT idea to do Anne Geddes pictures of the babies---in the pumpkin---did they think it was a great idea????? pyper---nope
                                                        porter still not liking it---cant imagine why

beth wouldnt really fit IN the pumpkin---so we put her on it---yeah---that went over well
cannon was a trooper---altho since he is potty training---this wasnt a stretch for him
bribed---um---i mean--rewarded Ben with a jelly bean for sitting

yeah---Milo was thrilled---even with the promise of a jelly bean---still not thrilled.
and Jonas wasnt having it AT ALL---not even with the promise of a jelly bean.
the final artwork---david hall did the disney castle on the left---ben webb did the 'disney' spelled out as a face in the middle and joe nelson did the buzz lightyear head on the right
pyper was so unaware of the importance of the weekend---its all about you, baby girl!
yeah---a little awkward, huh----there was a HUGE bathtub in the master bedroom---so the boys all got in---and apparently the big boys also---well, at least joe and ben! you can see ben hall and david in the mirror---ben just got out of the bath
jasmine is making tutus---and beth is a willing model---she made quite a few matching ones for pyper and beth.