this is me now

11.21.2010

my life in the theatah

i have been involved in 3 shows in the last month----my regular gig Dancing Moose---- musical comedy ethics workshops for mental health professionals (psychologists, therapists, social workers, counselors), community theater (Artisanct.com) in "Annie" as Miss Hannigan and a school outreach program (also thru Artisan)---a 30 min show about dealing with bullies "Sir Generous and the Bully"---its about 3 knights that have to deal with a firebreathing bully dragon---i play the Hermit of the Hills---the voice of moral authority that teaches the knights how to work with the dragon.  We go into schools and present the show to 3-5th graders. 
This past week I did 4 Annie shows and one Bully show---tomorrow I do 2 Bully shows and 1 Annie show---Tuesday is another bully show----whew......anyway....this is not about the show or the ACCOLADES i receive (and i do)

its about what i have learned about myself and others in life backstage.

1. i HATE false eyelashes.  They are heavy.  They look cool...and make my eyes look very hollywood----but they wear me out after 3 hours.  Hermits dont wear false eyelashes---neither do mooses....but hannigans do.
2. Wigs....Wigs and hats.  I wear wigs in all 3 shows....wigs are hot and itchy...and they mat down my hair...fortunately, I wear my hair pretty darn short....but if i go bald---i'm just shavin....not wearing wigs.  Hats---same thing....but---they are part of the costume.
3. costumes....LOVE COSTUMES.... they free me to be the character i want to be....put me in a costume and i am no longer meredith stinkin jeppson...i am a hermit with a limp and an english accent or a love-deprived frustrated orphanage manager with a new jersey accent or a beatle...yes....a beatle.
4. Auditions SCARE me to death.  I dont audition well.  If I sign up for an audition---please just give me the part---i dont audition for parts i dont think i can do---so trust me---my audition is uncostumed---and i wont be as good---really---i can do the part....i dont think so high of myself that i would audition for a role i cant do....just give me the part and we'll both be happy....i wont let you down.
5. I like small parts---dont want a whole show that relies on me ----no, thank you....i like parts where i am memorable...and then off-stage...let me steal a scene or two...thank you.
6.  I'm  not a dancer.  sorry.  i'll do my best....but it dont get any better than that.
7.  I'm a pacer.  I get to the theater really early.  I get my costume and makeup on. and then i pace...i go thru my lines...i chat with and smile at my fellow actors---but i internalize and think and pace...I am nervous....the good nervous that gets the adrenalin pumping.
8.  I love the performing.  I love the rehearsing. I love the comeraderie. I love the whole process (except the auditions)...i love a director who helps me be better and gives me ideas and encourages me to push myself.
9.  i would prefer not to do curtain call. really. I become meredith again and she didnt do the show---she doesnt deserve the accolades....it embarrasses her....but thanks.
10. dont talk backstage. DONT TALK BACKSTAGE....learn sign language...but DONT TALK BACKSTAGE....really...dont...please....sssssssh.
11. please dont tell me that i'm perfect for a part.....i'm not a hunched back hermit or a man-hungry mean woman.....i am just a person who can channel those traits to portray them....i'm not offended...it just makes me question myself....and i do that without any help....and really---i'm not offended.
12. my knees are killing me...i carry icy/hot in my purse.
13. i love singing on stage---as the character---dancing moose---mwah----i get to sing beatles, elvis, country, gladys knight----never as meredith---hermit---i get to sing with a dragon!----Annie---well---you know the show.  i dont think i'd enjoy doing a non-musical---i might have to be meredith.
13.  this is the best time in my life for me---my self-esteem---to have an outlet for the performer meredith....she is very happy.
14.  i've been blessed with external talents---I get a lot of applause---my talents are easily seen---which makes me appreciate those with internal talents---gifts of the Spirit---the quiet talents----I'm in awe of people with quiet gifts.....those people are getting Heavenly applause....i just wanna sing in the choir...yeah---the big choir.

11.11.2010

time to move

when you no longer feel safe in your neighborhood....it is time to move.
when you are accosted as you try to enter your front door...it is time to move.
when marauders feel free to wait for you on your doorstep...it is time to move.

i've always felt safe in our area... and i like to think that i'm aware of what is going on around me and taking appropriate precautions for safety... we live in a fairly low-crime area...so even at night, i've never felt fearful... until tonight.... i may never be the same... it may be time to move.

tonight i came home...about 645....the front light was on...there was no one home.... i had my keys out---ready to enter my home... the dogs happily barking from the kitchen area in the back of the house... and then...
            THERE HE WAS ....i stopped in my tracks....my breathing began to grow faster... i let out a gasp...
i couldnt get to the door.... i didnt know what to do....i stared at him---in his olive green--- i wanted to be able to identify him---  i picked up a stick and threw it.... he moved closer to my door.... i looked around for something bigger to throw...i yelled at him.... he mocked me with his silence... i found my LD Bell band booster sign----grabbed it....threw it at him---he jumped back...i picked up a brick---surely this would do the trick...i blocked his path and, in one swift movement, unlocked and opened the door ---madly dashing inside and closing it---locking it tightly----my breathing finally calmed down.
its time to move....next time i might not be so lucky.

11.08.2010

30 days of thanks.....

catch up.....

then i think i will just post them on facebook everyday.

1.  I am thankful to be a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me....who knows me....and who loves me even tho he knows me.
2.  I am thankful for a good husband who does his darnedest (sp?) to keep me happy....and thats not easy, folks!
3.  I am thankful for good children...who are turning into good adults and good parents...and continue to be good children.
4.  I am thankful for parents who raised me right.... expected the best i could do and encouraged me to reach for the best i could get.
5.  I am thankful for brothers and sisters (are you seeing a pattern?) who continue to be good friends.
6.  I am thankful for dogs...cuddled up next to me to keep my feet warm.
7.  I am thankful for nieces and nephews who entertain me with their stories, who let me stalk and advise and live vicariously thru them.
8.  I am thankful for my little boys.... and miss beth.

11.06.2010

why any kid would want to be an orphan, i'll never know.

.............yes---the role i was born to play------------finally all the stars align-----i'm old enough and have the right time off----Artisan Center Theater is producing the show-----i audition.....and VOILA! i get it! i've been waiting for this audition for a year!

knew i clinched it when i was 'acting' by taking a water bottle and pretending to be tipsy---well---i spilled real water on their floor....so....as any drunk would....i knelt down---wiped the water with my hand---and licked my hand.

it has been a grand time in rehearsal---i'm all about enjoying the process.... the cast is friendly and courteous to each other (very important) and sharing in good ideas.....my double gets great ideas and allows me to incorporate them into my portrayal!
 this is the way i look backstage----you dont get this nice of a smile from me onstage
here are the orphans---26 total----my orphans are in costume---the other cast is not---can you find Annie?

i always wanted to be Carol Burnett----so i channel her for the show.

11.02.2010

i dont vote....my homage to all the #2's

i don't vote .... i consider voting a privilege .... and I have an agreement with God...more on that later.

okay---i rarely vote .... and here is why
first time i voted it was in 1976 (thanks---you do the math)...and Gerald Ford got 2nd
i did vote in 1980----hmmmm---i think.......
in 1984 I was visiting my parents in Illinois during the general election...my father was APPALLED that i hadnt early-voted.... i was less than concerned ....and a trend began.

dont get me wrong---i have ALL SORTS of opinions...i just dont think it really matters, in the big scheme,what i think----I am an ugly American--- but i consider my right to vote---or not--- one of the biggies....

okay---so...merf....why NOT vote?

  i was actually scarred when Gerald Ford got 2nd....it became my curse--- whomever i voted for---GOT 2ND!....(side note:  I dont really follow baseball...but the Texas Rangers did REALLY well this year---until i started paying attention---albeit the World Series---and yes----THEY GOT 2ND) .... i decided to test my theory on something, while not as important as national elec----okay, who am i kidding....AMERICAN IDOL is TOTALLY as important as regular elections, if that werent true---why would so many people be voting? hmmm? think about THAT! okay---but thru this testing, my curse was proven:

Clay aiken---2nd
 
bo bice----2nd
ADAM STINKIN LAMBERT GOT 2ND----REALLY AMERICA (or! OR! or! --is it my fault?)

the only idol i voted for that won....well... do you understand why i might be a bit reticent to do so much harm to the American people.... i have too much power....my vote DOES count---but only to hurt .... so i choose to not use my power.... so the rest of America can have their voice heard.

now--the real reason i dont vote?
God and I have an agreement.
I know God wants me to vote IF:
  1. the weather is good on voting day
  2. the line is not long
  3. i remember my i.d.
  4. i happen to be going by the voting place
  5. the kids arent with me (do you know how hard it is to vote with 3-4 pre-schoolers in tow!?!
so today-----mid-term elections.....
i STINKIN VOTED
WOW----OH MY STINKIN GOSH----DID THE WORLD END? DID $@#% FREEZE OVER? did all the planets align so i knew TODAY would be the day I voted!!!!???

um....no
The weather was rainy...and windy---this is my hair blowing in the wind...and my hair doesnt blow easily---AND i'm wearing a sweater---which means it is chilly---it was cold ...you can see that in my grimace...it was cold and rainy and windy and overcast...see #1 above
 
there was a line....see all the cars!  (okay---this is a total fabrication---we vote at the school---these are teachers' cars---the line was 2 people)....see #2 above

got my drivers license out of my purse...i'm not going to show you a picture of my real id...there are crazy people out there that might misuse that information.... but if you've seen the abyss which is my purse---you'd know that finding ANYTHING in there is quite an accomplishment.... see #3.
  
<> ace was home---hurling---see # 5
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i live across the street from the school... but i did have to walk around to the front ... see #4

i confronted my devils today---and i exercised.... will i continue the curse? .....probably not...but i live in Texas .... and we think EVERYTHING is #2.

but my dad would be proud of me.