this is me now

3.30.2010

I COULD BE DEAD BY NOW


....okay.......
picture this.....well---no---dont picture it----nevermind all that....

start again....i'm getting out of the shower---wrapping up in a nice fluffy green towel (okay---you can turn on your picturing now)---and ***future blog alert)****MY TOWELS ARE NOT FLUFFY (my guest towels are---but not the ones i use for my own personal drying)

anyway---i digress......I look up----COCKROACH on the corner of the wall and the ceiling---about 6 feet up from me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH....
i'm not afraid of cockroaches...big crunchy gross ones---i even have cockroach earrings...another story....but i dont like them....and i dont let them live...ever...they must die....its them or me....and its always me.....this cockroach is waving his antennae all around my bathroom like he owns it or something...so i call out to david "bring a broom!"----so i step away waiting for my knight in shining armor to save the day....


and wait
and wait
and wait
so i call again "David! bring a broom!"....he yells back...."okay!"
more waiting
more
more.....
okay....now i look in my mirror (i dont smile as cute in the mirror as Milo does (check out lyric's blog)....and WHAT!?! another COCKROACH....up in the ceiling/wall meetingplace (i'm sure there is an architectural word for that)....also waving her (for i am sure they are planning on meeting and mating and bringing multitudes of baby cockroaches into my bathroom) antennae all over---communication----THEY MUST DIE!
"DAVID! BRING A BROOM"
"oH! i thought you meant tomorrow! (he's helping me in seminary tomorrow)
so...in races my knight.....
with a towel.......yes....i'm wrapped up in a towel....asking for a broom....and he brings me a towel.

i calmly (hahaha) re-iterate my need for a STINKIN BROOM----pointing to the offending vermin----he stares at the towel....a light goes on over his head....
"oh!"
i leave the room----i order executions----i dont watch executions.

he comes to report the deed is done...wants to know if i want a picture of the dead creatures for my blog......
no.....thanks.
picture a huge DARK BROWN nearly foot long bug with 17 antennae that plan your demise and run fast and crunch when they die and all sorts of white guts spill out.

i coulda died in the time it took dave to bring me a .......towel?

3 comments:

Mother of the Wild Boys said...

So, yeah...I still tell people about the awesome lady from my ward in Texas who wore cockroach earrings to church. You should see the way these Utah Mormons' heads will spin upon picturing that! I'd love to hear the story behind those earrings! :)

And ps- I haven't seen a roach since I moved up here 9 years ago. I don't miss that part of Texas.

Michelle said...

LOL! I agree about not missing cockroaches since moving to Utah. I love to tell tales of the nasty creatures to my friends who've never had the pleasure of having one pop out when you least expect it, though. That added to stories of tornadoes and they think I've been through a war zone or something.

Princess Mommy said...

kill 'em mommy! kill 'em dead!