my life in the theatah

i have been involved in 3 shows in the last month----my regular gig Dancing Moose---- musical comedy ethics workshops for mental health professionals (psychologists, therapists, social workers, counselors), community theater (Artisanct.com) in "Annie" as Miss Hannigan and a school outreach program (also thru Artisan)---a 30 min show about dealing with bullies "Sir Generous and the Bully"---its about 3 knights that have to deal with a firebreathing bully dragon---i play the Hermit of the Hills---the voice of moral authority that teaches the knights how to work with the dragon.  We go into schools and present the show to 3-5th graders. 
This past week I did 4 Annie shows and one Bully show---tomorrow I do 2 Bully shows and 1 Annie show---Tuesday is another bully show----whew......anyway....this is not about the show or the ACCOLADES i receive (and i do)

its about what i have learned about myself and others in life backstage.

1. i HATE false eyelashes.  They are heavy.  They look cool...and make my eyes look very hollywood----but they wear me out after 3 hours.  Hermits dont wear false eyelashes---neither do mooses....but hannigans do.
2. Wigs....Wigs and hats.  I wear wigs in all 3 shows....wigs are hot and itchy...and they mat down my hair...fortunately, I wear my hair pretty darn short....but if i go bald---i'm just shavin....not wearing wigs.  Hats---same thing....but---they are part of the costume.
3. costumes....LOVE COSTUMES.... they free me to be the character i want to be....put me in a costume and i am no longer meredith stinkin jeppson...i am a hermit with a limp and an english accent or a love-deprived frustrated orphanage manager with a new jersey accent or a beatle...yes....a beatle.
4. Auditions SCARE me to death.  I dont audition well.  If I sign up for an audition---please just give me the part---i dont audition for parts i dont think i can do---so trust me---my audition is uncostumed---and i wont be as good---really---i can do the part....i dont think so high of myself that i would audition for a role i cant do....just give me the part and we'll both be happy....i wont let you down.
5. I like small parts---dont want a whole show that relies on me ----no, thank you....i like parts where i am memorable...and then off-stage...let me steal a scene or two...thank you.
6.  I'm  not a dancer.  sorry.  i'll do my best....but it dont get any better than that.
7.  I'm a pacer.  I get to the theater really early.  I get my costume and makeup on. and then i pace...i go thru my lines...i chat with and smile at my fellow actors---but i internalize and think and pace...I am nervous....the good nervous that gets the adrenalin pumping.
8.  I love the performing.  I love the rehearsing. I love the comeraderie. I love the whole process (except the auditions)...i love a director who helps me be better and gives me ideas and encourages me to push myself.
9.  i would prefer not to do curtain call. really. I become meredith again and she didnt do the show---she doesnt deserve the accolades....it embarrasses her....but thanks.
10. dont talk backstage. DONT TALK BACKSTAGE....learn sign language...but DONT TALK BACKSTAGE....really...dont...please....sssssssh.
11. please dont tell me that i'm perfect for a part.....i'm not a hunched back hermit or a man-hungry mean woman.....i am just a person who can channel those traits to portray them....i'm not offended...it just makes me question myself....and i do that without any help....and really---i'm not offended.
12. my knees are killing me...i carry icy/hot in my purse.
13. i love singing on stage---as the character---dancing moose---mwah----i get to sing beatles, elvis, country, gladys knight----never as meredith---hermit---i get to sing with a dragon!----Annie---well---you know the show.  i dont think i'd enjoy doing a non-musical---i might have to be meredith.
13.  this is the best time in my life for me---my self-esteem---to have an outlet for the performer meredith....she is very happy.
14.  i've been blessed with external talents---I get a lot of applause---my talents are easily seen---which makes me appreciate those with internal talents---gifts of the Spirit---the quiet talents----I'm in awe of people with quiet gifts.....those people are getting Heavenly applause....i just wanna sing in the choir...yeah---the big choir.

time to move

when you no longer feel safe in your neighborhood....it is time to move.
when you are accosted as you try to enter your front door...it is time to move.
when marauders feel free to wait for you on your doorstep...it is time to move.

i've always felt safe in our area... and i like to think that i'm aware of what is going on around me and taking appropriate precautions for safety... we live in a fairly low-crime area...so even at night, i've never felt fearful... until tonight.... i may never be the same... it may be time to move.

tonight i came home...about 645....the front light was on...there was no one home.... i had my keys out---ready to enter my home... the dogs happily barking from the kitchen area in the back of the house... and then...
            THERE HE WAS ....i stopped in my tracks....my breathing began to grow faster... i let out a gasp...
i couldnt get to the door.... i didnt know what to do....i stared at him---in his olive green--- i wanted to be able to identify him---  i picked up a stick and threw it.... he moved closer to my door.... i looked around for something bigger to throw...i yelled at him.... he mocked me with his silence... i found my LD Bell band booster sign----grabbed it....threw it at him---he jumped back...i picked up a brick---surely this would do the trick...i blocked his path and, in one swift movement, unlocked and opened the door ---madly dashing inside and closing it---locking it tightly----my breathing finally calmed down.

its time to move....next time i might not be so lucky.

30 days of thanks.....

catch up.....

then i think i will just post them on facebook everyday.

1.  I am thankful to be a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me....who knows me....and who loves me even tho he knows me.
2.  I am thankful for a good husband who does his darnedest (sp?) to keep me happy....and thats not easy, folks!
3.  I am thankful for good children...who are turning into good adults and good parents...and continue to be good children.
4.  I am thankful for parents who raised me right.... expected the best i could do and encouraged me to reach for the best i could get.
5.  I am thankful for brothers and sisters (are you seeing a pattern?) who continue to be good friends.
6.  I am thankful for dogs...cuddled up next to me to keep my feet warm.
7.  I am thankful for nieces and nephews who entertain me with their stories, who let me stalk and advise and live vicariously thru them.
8.  I am thankful for my little boys.... and miss beth.

why any kid would want to be an orphan, i'll never know.

.............yes---the role i was born to play------------finally all the stars align-----i'm old enough and have the right time off----Artisan Center Theater is producing the show-----i audition.....and VOILA! i get it! i've been waiting for this audition for a year!

knew i clinched it when i was 'acting' by taking a water bottle and pretending to be tipsy---well---i spilled real water on their floor....so....as any drunk would....i knelt down---wiped the water with my hand---and licked my hand.

it has been a grand time in rehearsal---i'm all about enjoying the process.... the cast is friendly and courteous to each other (very important) and sharing in good ideas.....my double gets great ideas and allows me to incorporate them into my portrayal!

 this is the way i look backstage----you dont get this nice of a smile from me onstage

here are the orphans---26 total----my orphans are in costume---the other cast is not---can you find Annie?

i always wanted to be Carol Burnett----so i channel her for the show.

i dont vote....my homage to all the #2's

i don't vote .... i consider voting a privilege .... and I have an agreement with God...more on that later.

okay---i rarely vote .... and here is why

first time i voted it was in 1976 (thanks---you do the math)...and Gerald Ford got 2nd

i did vote in 1980----hmmmm---i think.......

in 1984 I was visiting my parents in Illinois during the general election...my father was APPALLED that i hadnt early-voted.... i was less than concerned ....and a trend began.

dont get me wrong---i have ALL SORTS of opinions...i just dont think it really matters, in the big scheme,what i think----I am an ugly American--- but i consider my right to vote---or not--- one of the biggies....

okay---so...merf....why NOT vote?

  i was actually scarred when Gerald Ford got 2nd....it became my curse--- whomever i voted for---GOT 2ND!....(side note:  I dont really follow baseball...but the Texas Rangers did REALLY well this year---until i started paying attention---albeit the World Series---and yes----THEY GOT 2ND) .... i decided to test my theory on something, while not as important as national elec----okay, who am i kidding....AMERICAN IDOL is TOTALLY as important as regular elections, if that werent true---why would so many people be voting? hmmm? think about THAT! okay---but thru this testing, my curse was proven:



Clay aiken---2nd

 

bo bice----2nd

ADAM STINKIN LAMBERT GOT 2ND----REALLY AMERICA (or! OR! or! --is it my fault?)



the only idol i voted for that won....well... do you understand why i might be a bit reticent to do so much harm to the American people.... i have too much power....my vote DOES count---but only to hurt .... so i choose to not use my power.... so the rest of America can have their voice heard.

now--the real reason i dont vote?

God and I have an agreement.

I know God wants me to vote IF:

1. the weather is good on voting day
2. the line is not long
3. i remember my i.d.
4. i happen to be going by the voting place
5. the kids arent with me (do you know how hard it is to vote with 3-4 pre-schoolers in tow!?!

so today-----mid-term elections.....

i STINKIN VOTED

WOW----OH MY STINKIN GOSH----DID THE WORLD END? DID $@#% FREEZE OVER? did all the planets align so i knew TODAY would be the day I voted!!!!???

um....no

The weather was rainy...and windy---this is my hair blowing in the wind...and my hair doesnt blow easily---AND i'm wearing a sweater---which means it is chilly---it was cold ...you can see that in my grimace...it was cold and rainy and windy and overcast...see #1 above

 

there was a line....see all the cars!  (okay---this is a total fabrication---we vote at the school---these are teachers' cars---the line was 2 people)....see #2 above

got my drivers license out of my purse...i'm not going to show you a picture of my real id...there are crazy people out there that might misuse that information.... but if you've seen the abyss which is my purse---you'd know that finding ANYTHING in there is quite an accomplishment.... see #3.

  

<> ace was home---hurling---see # 5

<>

i live across the street from the school... but i did have to walk around to the front ... see #4

i confronted my devils today---and i exercised.... will i continue the curse? .....probably not...but i live in Texas .... and we think EVERYTHING is #2.

but my dad would be proud of me.



dont mock me....its harder than it looks....BUT I WILL BE THAT GRANDMA

i decided it was time to practice my grandma-cookie-making-skills...so i got out my 100 cookie cutters....deciding to make it easier on myself and use the pumpkin.....its a circle with a stem



I have studied  many, many "BEST EVER SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE"-----so i went the easy way and used pillsbury...let me know if you have a no-fail sugar cookie recipe.

 I found this pre-STINKIN-made cookie icing---it dries fast and allows you to stack cookies sooner.....can you use regular cake frosting (yes---canned)? it just never dries?  its new---so i decided to try it.

 

 my first batch was totally too done----and it totally fell apart---and slid down on the floor...sad.

 my second batch looks NOTHING like pumpkins----put them too close on the pan? where are the stems? AND THEY ARE HUGE!....but they are edible

 3rd batch----voila! stems!....well...on some of them....but there was a modicum of success!

 and then i decorated my pumpkins (altho the stems have all disappeared and they appear more apple or tomato-ish than pumpkins) with red frosting and multi-colored sprinkles---why? you might ask.... why not!?! i didnt have any stinkin orange frosting.... and i LIKE red....and...most of all....dagnabit......

BECAUSE I AM---AND ALWAYS stinkin WILL BE----THAT GRANDMA

Dear darling boys,

I love you dearly.  I love your hugs and your kisses.  I love the tiny suits and ties....the basketball shorts, the camouflage...yes, Milo---I love you in bright orange shorts....i love Cars and trucks and helicopters and staring at tarantula spiders and holding you when you ride a pony....it was okay being sprayed---that was fine...its been a wonderful coupla years...

but now.....

theres a girl in town.

this will not change my love for you.....love expands to include all....i will think everything you will do is WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND TOTALLY AWESOME.... i will still think Cannon says Chicken Nuggets and helicopter AMAZINGLY well...and Ben---you will also make me laugh with your infectious laugh

but now....

theres a girl in town....

i'll still find you cute polo shirts...and jeans...and khakis...and tshirts---and I'll one for each of you (whom i kidding? i'll buy multiples for each of you).... i'll keep the good stuff in purse and bite the m & m in half for you....and i'll clean your face...

but now....

theres a girl in town

or there will be.....March 1, 2011...mark the date on your calendar....cause grandma will be spending more time in the baby doll section and pawing thru pink tutus and black Mary Janes and making bows to match every outfit...

I love you...each of your cute individualistics (i know that isnt the proper use of the word---the boys are under 23 months---they arent really reading this anyway)...i love that you are ALL going thru the terrible twos...(even you, Jonas---you are very advanced for your age)....I love skyping with you and singing "eensy weensy spider" and "peek-a-boo" and "the wheels on the bus"

but now...

theres a girl in town.

i got nuthin.........

have a TON of things i could/should/want to post----but not today---today is just *sigh*


i'm going to:
work on memorizing my Hannigan lines---Act 1
get the materials for 2 new crafts
work on my nursery lesson

and just *sigh*

did you read my last post? then you'll laugh

....at how fast this post came up....i'm on a roll!

i pilfered this from my niece, Olivia's blog---- couldnt pass up the opportunity to have a marching band express how i need to feel SO very often.....this is delicious.


OH MY STINKIN GOSH---THESE ARE THE SAME GUYS THAT DID THE TREADMILL SONG?!! check out Gnome Sweet Gnome's blog on my list to the right---she has this and another version of this which is an engineering MARVEL!

you can always tell....

you can always tell when I'm not happy with my most recent post....
because i post really fast so it drops out.

'nuf said.
thanks for reading.

the hairdo's of my life

I like change

I like to change my purses, my furniture, my weight (as you will see in the pictures) my hair color,....and yes...my hair do

lets travel back and peruse...in no specific order (because i'm just not THAT good at puttin in pictures)....merf's do's thru the ages

me at about 13-14---straight but now PARTED ON THE SIDE---woo hoot! showin off my widow's peak

early married life---my version of a 'bob (dave, me , sister Pyper, brother Matt--1981)

still what my hair does best---flat, straight

permed the HECK out of my hair in the 80's (me and jasmine may 1988)

THIS IS THE WINNER FOLKS! my favorite length---and color (dave, me, girls 1990)

well...except i really liked my military 'do----but dave didnt (what a mess, merf)

never works---trying to look 40 when you are 30 (christmas 1990)

curl!? really! i had to sleep on pink foamy curlers all night to maintain that bit of curl!

nothin' cuter than a little girl in french braids...could i get away with this now?

what was i thinking? slicked back elvis? who let me go out the door like this?

1984---bit of a mullett

one of my favorites---would do this if it wasnt so hard to keep looking decent

(btw---anyone else remember the 'panty-hose potato sack' decorations we used to make?)
and....ps btw---i LOVED my red kitchen

yep---still permin---just made my hair look thinner...but i ROCKED the red glasses

about to deliver jasmine---couldnt perm it---so i just let it go...i look darn good for 9 months pg

THE PERFECT HAIR CUT FOR MY HAIR---parted in the middle, long, straight

permed----asymmetrical---yeah---glad those years are gone

tryin to look like Farrah Fawcett 1979.....didnt work.

father's day 1984---permed and short---not too bad---could use some color tho...looks like i havent slept much---new baby and all.

had to be a little more straight up since i was now a mother---smoother of a perm

yeah---early 90's...mother of 6----big shoulder pads and permed hair---i do love my florals and big earrings

still trying to look like i'm 8----not good at 40

interesting that i have NO pictures of my funny hair colors----hmmm---maybe david didnt want any history of that for our grandchildren to see....and what is to come? here it is---my future hairdo---truly----THE PIXIE! see what im gonna do with the old hair when more 'white highlights' (cough cough) come in.

note to self.....you dont have to make all the pictures big---sometimes less is more....i'm just sayin.

Dear Albertsons,

Please stop having sales. My deep freezer died...and we are not replacing it right now...so i have no room for your buy 1 get 2 free chicken breasts....or multiple flavors of Gold Rim Blue Bell ice cream....or Stauffers (homemade) lasagna (party size)....or "reduced for quick sale" meat of any kind. I promised Leah I'd try to do better on not stuffing my pantry with multiple jars of mayonnaise/ketchup/salad dressing/peanut butter (no, wait---that was david). Please take me off your mailing list. and now! really? triple coupons? again!? i thought we had been thru all that....I dont need 10 boxes of Hamburger Helper for $7.
I have seen "Hoarders"....and i dont want to be THAT woman.
Thank you.
Merf


Dear Merf,
Thank you for contacting our store. We value you as a customer.

GROW UP....no one held that 6 pack of Orange Crush ($3.99) to your head. You had a list....you didnt need much. You could have walked to the back of the store and picked up your Skim Milk ($1.49---kudos to dave and ace btw---way to be health-conscious!) and gone thru our many self-check-out stands and been on your way! You didnt need to walk thru the Frozen Pizza (bogo/$3.99--identical item only) aisle and its way too hot to have Blue Bell Mini Ice Cream Sandwiches (bogo/$4.79--identical item only) in your car. There are only 3 of you at home now....will you be able to finish those 2 bags of Lettuce Trio ($2.79/bogo---identical item only) before they go bad? And, while we are on the subject, you no longer have grandkids in the house....why are you still buying animal crackers ($1.00 per individual box---you know--the cute boxes with the animals in cages like on a circus train)? Yes, I understand that you want to be THAT grandma---so you are welcome for Pillsbury cookie dough on sale (3/$4.00)---but who are you thinking is going to eat those cookies?
We love you and again, value as a customer---you keep us in business--impulse and emotional shoppers are our life-blood--and we appreciate all you do for us..the not making menus, the changing your mind about dinner at the last minute, the 'i found the recipe for Rachael Ray's devilled eggs and need bacon" moments...we will always have a grocery cart ready for you...but PLEASE! dont hold us accountable for your lack of self-control and....you know your mom taught you better than this.... dont come shopping when you are hungry.
see you soon,
Joe Albertson

ps....try to dress up a little more when you come into the store---we have a rep to maintain.

E>

thumb up/sssh with jas

pound heart and asl i love you

you are cuter

your momma

frog necklace

the position has been filled.

I've become THAT woman

I was walking into Target....looked down at my feet----I WAS WEARING MY SLIPPERS---MY HOUSESHOES---MY STINKIN HOUSEshoes! I had a totally cute outfit on---probably khaki shorts----THAT MATCHED MY SLIPPERS.......


this picture is REALLY that day---not at target---but those are my slippers. ....i USED to be THAT woman in the high heels---matching every outfit.....and now i go to Target...in my slippers...sigh....so....I realized......

I HAVE BECOME THAT WOMAN---

so i started to notice other things....other women i have become--or have always been----some i totally accept about myself---and kinda like----others i always think i will change---but probably wont. I want to have a clean refrigerator----I dont have elementary kids or primary kids drawing pictures anymore---so i shouldnt have a messy refrigerator....
I want to have UNclutter----if you look close you will see the stuff i pulled off the couch to orchestrate this picture---dont judge me----i will someday be that woman---i get closer and closer every year.
I am the woman with piles...and i know exactly what is in every pile...and there is a reason for every pile....and the pile will disappear...eventually....and the pile will disappear if you call ahead...please call ahead....or dont---it would be a good learning experience for me.

i like sweets (does that come as a big surprise? have you read my blog? I STINKIN REVIEWED HERSHEY KISSES!) anyway...sorry...i do.....i have always----always will---i am the woman with the sugar in her purse....want some?

I want to be the woman who MAKES the sweets---and i do---but not much and not cookies---I hate standing over the oven every 8 minutes.....BUT I AM THE WOMAN with sugar in my purse.....and i always share......and i have a bucket of 100 cookie cutters---because I WILL be THAT grandma---that has cookies.

I have always wanted to be athletic---i love sports--- i want to walk, play volleyball and tennis----had i been an athletic teen---i think i would have continued---but i didnt---and so i dont---but i still want to---lots. i have always loved babies---everyone's babies---i borrowed babies---i got babies-----now my babies are having babies.....there is not an age I dont love ---well....except 6....and 13....but, other than those---i love babies.....of all ages....i am THAT woman....

holding the baby...

feeding it M & M's....

wearing my slippers.