I COULD BE DEAD BY NOW

....okay.......
picture this.....well---no---dont picture it----nevermind all that....

start again....i'm getting out of the shower---wrapping up in a nice fluffy green towel (okay---you can turn on your picturing now)---and ***future blog alert)****MY TOWELS ARE NOT FLUFFY (my guest towels are---but not the ones i use for my own personal drying)

anyway---i digress......I look up----COCKROACH on the corner of the wall and the ceiling---about 6 feet up from me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH....
i'm not afraid of cockroaches...big crunchy gross ones---i even have cockroach earrings...another story....but i dont like them....and i dont let them live...ever...they must die....its them or me....and its always me.....this cockroach is waving his antennae all around my bathroom like he owns it or something...so i call out to david "bring a broom!"----so i step away waiting for my knight in shining armor to save the day....

and wait
and wait
and wait
so i call again "David! bring a broom!"....he yells back...."okay!"
more waiting
more
more.....
okay....now i look in my mirror (i dont smile as cute in the mirror as Milo does (check out lyric's blog)....and WHAT!?! another COCKROACH....up in the ceiling/wall meetingplace (i'm sure there is an architectural word for that)....also waving her (for i am sure they are planning on meeting and mating and bringing multitudes of baby cockroaches into my bathroom) antennae all over---communication----THEY MUST DIE!
"DAVID! BRING A BROOM"
"oH! i thought you meant tomorrow! (he's helping me in seminary tomorrow)
so...in races my knight.....
with a towel.......yes....i'm wrapped up in a towel....asking for a broom....and he brings me a towel.

i calmly (hahaha) re-iterate my need for a STINKIN BROOM----pointing to the offending vermin----he stares at the towel....a light goes on over his head....
"oh!"
i leave the room----i order executions----i dont watch executions.

he comes to report the deed is done...wants to know if i want a picture of the dead creatures for my blog......
no.....thanks.
picture a huge DARK BROWN nearly foot long bug with 17 antennae that plan your demise and run fast and crunch when they die and all sorts of white guts spill out.

i coulda died in the time it took dave to bring me a .......towel?

DEPRIVED....but not really....

discombobulated...probably should say STINKIN DISCOMBOBULATED.

• may be sleep-deprived----teaching seminary and all---but no......i NAP.
• may be protein-deprived----not eating much meat lately---unless chocolate bunnies count.
• may be attention-deprived----no---had some great shows in march----hundreds---YES! hundreds of people clapping for me....totally fed my ego---its full.
• may be conversation deprived----yeah---i'm on my phone ALL THE STINKIN TIME....but face-to-face----not much....and farmtown marketplace does not compensate for actual face to face.
• may be hug-deprived----nah....ace is a big hugger....and i saw two of my babies and 2 of their babies this past month....lots of hugs....will blog about our great trip.

I have never liked march...maybe thats it! march is weather-challenged....no cool holidays (not a big st patricks day person)....march is a stinkin-long month....its the ugly step-sister to april.....THAT'S IT!

I AM APRIL DEPRIVED!

APRIL----april has always been good to me

• EASTER----love it---great family traditions....pulling cake----have i blogged about that? oh yeah----and that whole Jesus died for me and atoned for my sins----big fan.....hmmmm....maybe i shoulda given that its own dot.
• general conference----big fan....Henry B Eyring----totally a big fan.
• JAMMIN BDAY----happy day baby girl!
• CLICK BDAY----happy day baby girl!
• 2010----JOE NELSON GRADUATES! and JOE and LEAH and CANNON and JONAS are movin on up (well---down----from utah) and in with us for the summer.....so i'm sure there will be a blog about baby-proofing my house.....meh....and probably one when i am FED UP with babies trashing my house---but that wont be til august---if then---maybe i'll just bite my tongue....not a fan.
• texas in april---big fan.....gorgeous weather .... thunderstorms.... snow cone stands open.... bluebonnets .... yeah ---- big big fan.
• survivor/american idol/apprentice/amazing race.....big fan.

i'll be okay----april is 2 days away---one day if you count i'm doing april fools day a day early in seminary just to mess with them....i think i'll be okay....i'll let you know if i'm not.

p.s.....as i read this post it sounds pretty whiny

good...thats exactly what i was goin for....gnite!

paying the man.....

gulp....we owe.....THOUSANDS....gulp.....

glass (get the gulp?---clever) half empty

1. my income is all independent contractor....no taxes taken out.
2. david's side expert witness income----no taxes taken out.
3. ONLY ONE STINKIN KID UNDER 17! and he's doin nuthin but aging!
4. i HATE chunks-----dont want to hear a HUGE chunk sum---dont like it---i'm much better at nibbling than gourging!

glass half full

1. my kids all get back MUCH MORE than they pay---so I consider it helping my kids....my taxes paid for my grandbabies to be born safely and to see that they get the peanut butter they need.
2. my mom and mil are well-taken care of thru good planning, medicare and social security....they want for nothing....except visits.
3. we have good schools so my kids are in college and getting ready to pay taxes....so they can support me in 20 years.
4. we have good roads to drive to get to places....like....
5. i have 5 wal-marts less than 10 minutes away....and movie houses everywhere....and Subways on every corner. (trying to stay away from fast food)
6. there is a huge police presence....the better to catch my family members that choose to drive less than "obey the laws of the land" (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! :)
7. i have a great capital city---where all the crazies stay most of the time and argue and dont do anything to mess up my life---most of the time.
8. i have a new firehouse across the street from my subdivision.
9. i have an army that makes me feel safe....but i wish they would come home and be safe.
10. dave has a job that is secure and pays sufficient and has great benefits....been at the job for 25 years...we are blessed....God Bless the State of Texas.
11. i have a job i love....i'd do it for free (dont worry---they already know that)
12. i get to take naps....and watch netflix....and play on facebook....but ssssh! dont tell my family that part.
13. it took me a really short time to fill out my census---shortest ever.

so TAKE your money, IRS.....take it and use it on a road to no-where in Alaska---or to open up schools again in Kansas City, MO....or to give heat to some old lady in New York City next winter.....

or just fill that pothole on Precinct Line.....thanks.

first i was afraid.....

i was petrified

kept thinking i could never live without you by my side

but then i spent so many nights

just thinkin how you done me wrong

and i got strong...and i learned how to get along (with my blackberry)

and now youre back......from outer space (or wherever the geek squad is)

you just walked in to find me here with that little look upon your face

i should have changed the stupid lock i should have made you leave your keys

if i ever thought that you'd be back to bother me.

i missed you so.....i was lost.....mr berry is not the same....nor is the ipod touch....they dont balance on my lap as well....and my desktop....while we've had lots of good years.....its just not the same....thank you dear friend for returning to me....healthy, well, re-charged and ready to travel the world.

i can die happy

for i have been to the mountain....and have seen mickey.....well....the epcot side of mickey....but his presence was felt.....and i have seen the glory of the univers-
al studios....and regalled (sp? hmmm---need to look that up) in its glory.

dave & i went to a time-share presentation by Hilton Vacations to be able to get a nearly-free (WELL.....the hotel was nearly free----add in the flights/food/tickets/car rental....ouch) 3 night stay at their resort near Walt Disney World...how convenient that lyric & milo & ben live DARN NEAR! BONUS!

so we did our time----we are now NOT the proud owners of a hilton vacation resort 2 week-a-year experience----didnt spend $20K on this wonderful ---AND I DO MEAN WONDERFUL----resort---heated pools---multiple hot tubs----the bathtub in the room has water coming in from the ceiling----but for some reason we werent willing to finance at 20% for the next 20 years to avail ourselves of this luxury---we just arent dat kinda people---ya know?....but we'd love to take advantage of YOURS if you cant take the time this year!

anyway----arrived with Ace in tow on monday of spring break---headed straight to lyric's home and then straight to cocoa beach-----YES---got in up to my waist----NO----no pictures---use your imagination----well----i will post pictures of the others. THEN----ate dinner at SMOKEY BONES---will link that---they dont exist here in the southcentral states---but if you are back east---they have the best side dishes---corn and their baked beans----ribs----nummers----flippin fingers-----double nummers.

tuesday we spent all day at the pools---ace is a fish---and we found out milo is too----biggest smile ever----i think he thinks it is the world biggest bathtub---and we know how much mr milo loves him his bathtime! jasmine and baby ben came in tuesday night---lyric and i had put a pork tenderloin and veggies (i hate that word) in the crock pot (duh)---so we ate and then watched AMERICAN IDOL---duh----then got ready for THE DAY.

preamble---i have wanted to go to DISNEYWORLD since like forever. the time share guy asked us where our dream vacation would be---i smiled as david said "she is here"-----thats it....orlando, florida.....

chilly in orlando---so lyric broke out jackets for all and we were off....Epcot was our park of choice----it was amazing----we live 10 minutes from 6 flags----but disney does everything better---more detailier (i know its not a word---but you know exactly what i mean)----it was a little crowded and transporting 6 adults and 2 babies in strollers was not always the most conducive to easy people-flow---but it was great. Ben ran all over the park getting us fast-passes so we could get in on the big rides quicker....and we walked...and walked....and walked.....

things i learned:

• i dont need to ride a ride to enjoy the experience
• i paid $50 (HUGE discount tickets---thanks Ben!) to sit and hold my grandbabies----best money spent EVER.
• epcot is beautiful and amazing---and i need to go on a day when there arent 100,000 OTHER people enjoying the same----and it wasnt even a really busy day for the park!
• DARN EXPENSIVE to feed 6 adults and 2 stroller babies----and we didnt eat big-time----thanks Ben for the taste of your pork sandwich----DELISH---its in the americana area====yeah----we had a choice of 11 countries and we ate burgers!

we hit the hot tub at the hotel to relax our muscles after the long day of walking ALL OVER THE WORLD! (we walked from morocco to italy to norway to china and then usa----then japan---then canada...whew!)

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS----totally the best----had a great time---it was STINKIN chilly---wore a jacket all day....we moved from ride to show to ride with very little waiting time---favorite ride? THE SIMPSONS (a show we have discouraged in our home)---it was great. the HORROR make-up SHOW was hilarious---we learned that 12 month old Ben has learned fear ----something 7 month old Milo has yet to pick up---cause when the big hairy monster jumped out at the audience, Ben climbed up his mothers face and tried to crawl into her---literally----he was terrified! (he was also afraid of scooby-doo----hmmmm---ben, we have to work on you and hairy animals.)

flew home thursday night....yawn....dave sat in 1st class---ace and i herded into coach....benefits of using points!

i cant cross it off my bucket list---'cause

I'LL BE BACK.

ORLANDO AND I HAVE DEVELOPED A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP THAT NEEDS TO BE NURTURED.....

writers block

......duh........

not that i havent been doing anything....been doing alot of shows and travelling around the midwest.... but nothin to write home about......

went to beaumont for Ben Hall's first birthday---hmmmm--okay---i should write about that---have a darn cute video of him attacking his cupcake like its his first meal in a year....well....it kinda is.

ace is in "Brigadoon" at the Artisan Center Theatre....seein him tonight---i could write about that...and probably will.

goin to florida next week to be with my baby and her baby and jasmine and her baby and bringing my baby and his baby....get all that? and we're goin to see micky----FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER----MY TOTAL TOP-EVER BUCKET LIST THING A-NUMBER ONE TOP TRIP OF ALL MY LIFETIME WANT-TO-GO....so yeah----i'll write about that.....but not yet.

got my hair cut-----wish i could have luxurious long hair---but i dont---and i always worry i look like a guy---but not enough to let my hair grow....but i'm not gonna write about that.

and no......i'm not going to write about that....if you knew me well enough you wouldnt even have to ask....lol....really....lol.

for my daughters....at 3 a.m....(i'm asleep....but they arent)

i saw this---okay---i was stalking around blogs and came upon this one---i have no idea what my blogjourney consisted of---i go from one to another to another to another until i am six degrees of separation from kevin bacon and everyone else!......anyway

its not about kevin bacon.....

its about having babies and watching them go from one stage to the next. the writer is "the damsel"....hmmmm...i should come up with a cuter name than 'merf'----sounds like i'm 3 ft tall and quite blue and live in a mushroom....

but its not about mushrooms....

she uses cool words like gestate....and she has grandsons----anyway---

it is about enjoying the stages you like and being happy about stages that go away and you never have to live thru.

as my own baby ages---i dont miss:

• junior high
• pta
• cub scouts
• potty training
• tying shoes
• soccer games/practices/pictures

i do miss:

• bedtime rituals
• playing the piano and the kids dancing around
• spelling words
• dress up days at school
• grandma's feather bed
• backwards dinners
• school performances and my kiddos searching the audience til our eyes meet
• nightgowns
• doing little girls hair

anyway---it is about this post...hope you enjoy it

Saying Goodbye
Thursday, February 25, 2010
0 comments

What's the most old school thing you've ever done?
The Damsel supposes her most old school thing was having babies. Lots.
Not that she was particularly good at having babies. The flesh was weak. Sometimes all she could do was just lie there and gestate. She did NOT get better at it with practice. Rather, she sort of wore out. Still, she tried to do her part in repopulating the earth.
Many people told the Damsel that she'd know when she was “done.” That bit of information didn't come easily. But even when she had that feeling of completeness, it was rather heartbreaking to say goodbye to that part of her life, that life that had owned her for so long.
The last time she nursed her #7, she sobbed like she'd never stop. And even now, seeing fresh new babies brings pangs of . . . something . . . not really regret, but more like melancholy remembrances, of sweet little fuzzy heads and rosebud lips.
When the Damsel recounts the “last” this and the “last” that, there's happy along with the sad. Some things were easy to say goodbye to. The last potty training. The last croup vigil. The last set of kindergarten immunizations.
Each stage brings its own joys.
When you get to the goodbye stage, the Damsel recommends acquiring some handsome grandsons. She's found they do an admirable job easing the sting of memory. After all, their heads are sweet and fuzzy, too.
---
Margot is a mom of seven and pretty much crazy from it. Online she's known as the Damsel in Dis Dress and blogs at the Old School (http://www.mynewoldschool.com/) and twitters @elle_cosette.