vanity, thy name is...........

MEREDITH ANN ENSIGN JEPPSON

okay---a few things you need to know about me---if you dont already.

i am very very vain---altho i hide it well by wearing unkempt,goofy hair and not always wearing makeup and schlupping (sp?) around in slippers and muu-muu's (all totally done to hide my natural vane-ness---yeah---right) (hmmm---have i blogged about my love of muu-muu's and how happy i am to finally be the age to wear them and not be totally guffawed (yes, I said it) at---AND----have you counted how deep into parentheses i am!?))))))

i love maxi dresses---thats what we called them in the late 1960's----they are the wonderful "dont have to wear hose or worry about keeping your knees together or bending over" dresses....AND they are IN right now! yay!

knowing those two points---you are now prepared to read the rest of this post.

i go to church today----ready to play with my sweet nursery kids----which means i wear LONG FLOWING skirts or MAXI dresses!

i'm feeling pretty good----i have a couple of dresses that ( at least, I think) make me look long and lean...or at least long.

then in walks our wonderful music leader---she comes in every week and sings with the kids---and she is the mommy of one of my sweet boys---today, in the interest of anonymity (sp?--really, merf---twice you have to sp?) we'll call her Barbie (ashley---dont take it personally---i'm giving you an alias to protect your identity----oops)---she is a pretty, blonde, talented and pleasant young mother and has two of the most beautiful little boys (well---other than MY little boys----but.....i digress......)))))----and did i mention she is 6 stinkin months pregnant!!!!!???? (she is due in July---so even with that ---her mom beats me out---mine are due in august and september----gawsh)

and i notice....we have the same dress (style) on....oh my stinkin gosh----she is 6 months pregnant---with her 3rd child---which means, we all know, that she looks like 8 months ( but you dont, ash---i mean Barbie---sorry---i'll work on that)))).....so i look down at what i thought was long and lean....and just see....wellllll---realizing that the dress doesnt necessarily fit well---the straps need to come up A LOT---and its dragging on the ground....Barbie's (see, Ashley---I can remember to not....oh,,,,, rats) doesnt drag---BUT SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL BELLY holding hers up.

the end result is----she lets me take a picture of her---not knowing what i have planned until AFTER i take the picture---see what i mean when i say she is pleasant!?---and then tries very hard to convince me that i dont look 6 MONTHS PREGNANT and that her dress isnt really a maternity dress (does that argument work on ANYONE? )......and i'm sure it was very awkward for her---but she didnt show it....pleasant.

so.....i'm going to give the dress to lyric---i think its probably too long for leah----altho i am 5'6" now (thats a whole 'nuther blog---I'VE STARTED SHRINKING)))))----because, in my mind....it is a maternity dress....or, at the very least, belongs on a much younger, pleasanter---altho NOT BLONDER (so there, ashl---i mean Barbie---yeah---thats it)

this is not a pathetic plea for 'NO NO NO MERF---you look GREAT' (for a woman your age---you always forget to say that)---it just is what it is.....sigh.

have i?

...i'm fine.....how apropos that my time of "grrrr" came right before the LDS General Conference---a time when we can listen to the inspired leaders of the Lord's church---and i can glean from it what i'm supposed to hear and use.....Lord, I heard....and i will use.
....when President Uchtdorf tells me that the answer to my prayers wont necessarily happen when i am on my knees, but when i am on my feet, serving.....i better get up off my duff.
When Elder Paul Johnson talks about the beauty of the view comes AFTER the climb....i better continue climbing.....(i HATE climbing, btw)....cant i just walk farther? okay---i wont argue---i'll climb.
Sister Allred talks about being prepared and the Relief Society being prepared to help during times of struggle across the world----and i'm griping about my kid not being invited to a movie?
When Bishop H Burke Peterson talks about those around us that desperately need our help----gulp----i have it pretty good....and better stop belly-aching.

Hymns 223, Have I Done Any Good?

1. Have I done any good in the world today?

Have I helped anyone in need?

Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?

If not, I have failed indeed.

Has anyone’s burden been lighter today

Because I was willing to share?

Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?

When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more

Than dream of your mansion above.

Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,

A blessing of duty and love.

2. There are chances for work all around just now,

Opportunities right in our way.

Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”

But go and do something today.

’Tis noble of man to work and to give;

Love’s labor has merit alone.

Only he who does something helps others to live.

To God each good work will be known.

the last line of the song was changed in 1985 with the new hymnbook----it used to say "the world has no need for a drone" We dont get to sing the word 'drone' very often....i still sing those words---rebel---go ahead---try it---yes---sing it---out loud--its great poetry!

he'll be fine....i'll be breathing for him.

merf----dont be a drone.

grrrrrr

coming soon
nothing cryptic about this one
grrrrrr

okay---now i'm rethinking----you know----sometimes you just need time to calm down----and then you rethink how it might sound---BUT DAGNABIT ----

i am sure that i come across as competent---fine----able---put-together----possibly even intimidatingly unapproachable (altho i hope not!)----

not always true

sometimes i'm not fine----sometimes i'm not all that put together----

but i can take care of myself----now----my children are a different animal.....the claws come out---even if they arent aware of anything....(my kid----not the claws---claws arent ever aware of anything---they are people---this is not going to work if you cant stay up with me)

look around your ward----there may be kids in your ward from active families that still need to be included/invited....children with no siblings---or maybe siblings THAT ARE GROWN AND GONE....or maybe many siblings and they need to be singled out for some extra attention----

i have such a kid----with such a good heart---accepts everyone----likes everyone----invites/includes everyone----assumes that everyone else likes everyone else---never takes offense----but i notice and i take offense and i get MAD

so when there is a clique---and there is---that excludes not only MY child---but others as well (i've actually had parents come up to me and ask why some kids get invited to pre-dance parties or movies and some dont---i didnt have an answer and i was embarrassed for my ward)---

my kid has friends---nice kids---but what do we do when we say we want him to double-date with LDS kids---so he approaches them and is told their group date to the Mormon Prom is full---really? the group is full? how many makes a group?  didnt realize that a group is a definite number.

what do we do when there is an activity at church and the kids in charge (clique-members) DONT call my kid to tell him its been cancelled----DONT tag him on fb to tell him about an event-----grrrrrrrr.  please dont talk about all the kids from the ward meeting at your house to go to a movie---in front of kids that arent invited---because it really isnt all the kids, now is it?

who do i talk to? do i go up to the parents and say something? NO---cause that makes me look hovering----do i talk to the clique? NO---stupid kids.  

so i blog----and i put it out there----and if you have active good kids in your area/ward/school that seem to be fine----look closely----every teen needs someone other than their parents encouraging them---and please! encourage your kids to include others.

ya know---this goes for adults too----dont assume that just because we come to church on Sunday, that we've been around forever, that we appear to have it all together---dont assume that we dont need.

okay---i'm done now. i chickened out in naming names and being as specific and as catty as i had intended....and i do catty really well.

i dont sew---but i rouche!

...i dont sew---i know HOW---but its not something i like to do---i'm not a finisher----i'm not detailed enough---my motto is "close enough"---not the best philosophy for sewing....(or being a doctor---or a bomb-maker)---
but, dear followers....i do DO....i crochet, modge-podge (i probably should be linking all of these to lovely examples of my work---but as i said before---i'm not a finisher), i craft....
                              AND NOW! I ROUCHE!


was googling (as i do REALLY WELL) around---saw a diy (thats do-it-yourself for you non-crafters/non HGTV watchers) for "big tee to maternity tee"----
WHAT?
did that say MATERNITY!? one of my FAVORITE words right now!
you take a tee-shirt (who really spells it that way----its t-shirt) that is 2 sizes too big for your preggeress (thats for you, Lyric)----rouche the sides----VOILA! (rouche is the gathering on the sides)...hmmmm---probably should include a picture of rouching right here....but...yeah---you know....

anyway, so i tried it

                                                                  i rouched

....not on just one t shirt-cause if it works for one---then 2 would be better, 3 would be great and

                8  WOULD BE TREMENDOUS!

leah and the boys were up visiting---(have i mentioned that she is pregnant?)----so i had her be my model and maternity-clothing consultant (she's an expert)

so i rouched  a man's t-shirt,  a v-neck, a pattern, and a few solids....
                                                            LOVE IT

and will do more---maybe one for me....so if you see me in a rouched shirt----yeah....i did it.

tmi-----

had a great week---spent 5 days in missouri doing shows---4 in st louis and one in Kansas City---stayed at wonderful hotels---ate great food-----had great audiences---fun times----flew from St louis to Orlando---got to spend a bit of time with my baby and her baby...then Lyric went to the Orlando Temple and we got to go with her ( She and Ben will be sealed on may 14, 2011 in dallas)
anywa----dave and i get on a plane--fly from orlando to chicago to dallas----our plane was late leaving orlando---so we were hurrying to our chicago connection----we are carrying multiple bags---trying to put one in another ---one bag had broken a strap for the LAST time----checking thru our larger carryons----i'm reaching up on our plane going to dfw---putting carryons in the upper bins....and

hmmmmmm? whats that feeling?  what?  really?  um.....eyes dart around to see if anyone else notices? nope----i'm pretty invisible---but i laugh out loud.....sad that noone notices----but i sure do! what a strange feeling!

okay----i'll let you in on it......my bra had unsnapped--totally undone--somehow----sometime----so i had scurried from one plane to another, reached up and down moving bags----AND NO ONE NOTICED THAT I WAS GOING COMMANDO---UNENCUMBERED----FREE TO THE WIND!  except me---i hate that feeling----but it was a little fun to be so 70's retro----like being in on a secret that no one around you knows---and giggling out loud...then looking around to see if anyone noticed i giggled.......nope.

maybe next time it will NOT be an accident!

sympathetic pregnancy?

i have two pregnant daughters....up until 3 (REALLY----CAN IT BE THREE WEEKS ALREADY) weeks ago, i had 3 pregnant daughters....and i have like 763 nieces and friends that are pregnant

i have so many things to blog about---havent even talked about christmas---it was great-----full of diapers and babies and naps and memories---and i took pics---but then came january---and we went to the rodeo---i aged a year----sam came home to visit for his bday (we share the same)---all very nice----then february hurried thru---plagues on Lyric had me breathing for her...then MISS STINKIN ELIZABETH ANN HALL was born---yeah---i have a grandDAUGHTER....still adore my boys OF COURSE...and physically need a grandbaby fix more often than not.....hit up my first mardi gras parade...got beads....doin shows....

but thats not what i'm writing about.

emotions.

i cry.  i weep.

all the time.

of course at cheesy commercials.....and game show/reality show big winners---duh.
but even more....i cry at the THOUGHT of things...happy....sad....important....inane (look it up)....tears flow.

February was huge....see above...good/bad/healthy/unhealthy...my dad gone 10 years....cried
March is big....going to the temple with Lyric in Orlando....will cry---crying now thinking about it
April---hmmm....maybe not cry---oh, no----Beth is being blessed---will cry
May....BIG crying month....mothers day---happy/sad/melancholy tears....Lyric & Ben & Milo are being sealed....OH MY GOODNESS....get my hankie out now....

can i blame it on leah and lyric being pregnant---i live vicariously thru my children---so maybe i can blame all the tears on them...hormones and all...
do you know that talking about pregnancies would have brought me to tears 30 years ago?
and my cravings....for chocolate, lately for all things cheeseburger-y....can i blame that on sympathetic pregnancy-related....okay---this one only if i can say i've been sympathetically pregnant for thirty/twenty/insert single digit here years......okay----cant blame that.
i'm losing weight....hmmmm...okay---that has nothing to do with sympathy---i just thought i would mention it....

this was a lot more clever in  my mind....

i'm tearing up ...laughing at my silliness.
join me....and hand me a tissue.

Dear friend...well....person in her ward....

...of my daughter
   .......that just gave birth
       ......that lives in a small apartment
           ......that has no children your daughter's age

thank you for helping her by watching her son a couple of times while she went to doctor's appointments.
thank you for being her visiting teacher.

she was trying to think of a way to thank you

you wanted to go to a Mardi Gras parade....you grounded your 8 yr old daughter from the parade....you left your 8 yr old daughter at her apartment 10 days after MY daughter gave birth---you said you wanted her to learn service, so could she come over and help you with my grandson...no you didnt---you wanted my daughter to babystinkinsit your daughter....DONT GROUND YOUR KIDS FROM SOMETHING YOU WANT TO GO TO....you wanted to leave her for 5 hours---my daughter negotiated you down to 2 hrs....your daughter was bored after 10 minutes....and my grandson went down for a nap 1 hr in...and your daughter wanted to be entertained---not to entertain a 2 yr old....she has a 2 yr old brother---she is bored by 2 yr olds.  my daughter is too nice to say no.....but she wont be next time.

pretty sure you are even now.