this is me now



coming soon
nothing cryptic about this one

okay---now i'm rethinking----you know----sometimes you just need time to calm down----and then you rethink how it might sound---BUT DAGNABIT ----

i am sure that i come across as competent---fine----able---put-together----possibly even intimidatingly unapproachable (altho i hope not!)----

not always true

sometimes i'm not fine----sometimes i'm not all that put together----

but i can take care of myself----now----my children are a different animal.....the claws come out---even if they arent aware of anything....(my kid----not the claws---claws arent ever aware of anything---they are people---this is not going to work if you cant stay up with me)

look around your ward----there may be kids in your ward from active families that still need to be included/invited....children with no siblings---or maybe siblings THAT ARE GROWN AND GONE....or maybe many siblings and they need to be singled out for some extra attention----

i have such a kid----with such a good heart---accepts everyone----likes everyone----invites/includes everyone----assumes that everyone else likes everyone else---never takes offense----but i notice and i take offense and i get MAD

so when there is a clique---and there is---that excludes not only MY child---but others as well (i've actually had parents come up to me and ask why some kids get invited to pre-dance parties or movies and some dont---i didnt have an answer and i was embarrassed for my ward)---

my kid has friends---nice kids---but what do we do when we say we want him to double-date with LDS kids---so he approaches them and is told their group date to the Mormon Prom is full---really? the group is full? how many makes a group?  didnt realize that a group is a definite number.

what do we do when there is an activity at church and the kids in charge (clique-members) DONT call my kid to tell him its been cancelled----DONT tag him on fb to tell him about an event-----grrrrrrrr.  please dont talk about all the kids from the ward meeting at your house to go to a movie---in front of kids that arent invited---because it really isnt all the kids, now is it?

who do i talk to? do i go up to the parents and say something? NO---cause that makes me look hovering----do i talk to the clique? NO---stupid kids.  

so i blog----and i put it out there----and if you have active good kids in your area/ward/school that seem to be fine----look closely----every teen needs someone other than their parents encouraging them---and please! encourage your kids to include others.

ya know---this goes for adults too----dont assume that just because we come to church on Sunday, that we've been around forever, that we appear to have it all together---dont assume that we dont need.

okay---i'm done now. i chickened out in naming names and being as specific and as catty as i had intended....and i do catty really well.


Mother of the Wild Boys said...

Grrrrr indeed. I lived this, and it sucked. Teenagers can be so mean. Actually, I'm still living this, and it still sucks as an I guess it's just people in general that can be mean. I could go on about this, but I'll just say: I totally get how you feel here.

Sharon said...

I could have written your same blog about 17 years ago. We assumed that good LDS kids wouldn't exclude other kids in their ward even if they were new to the area, but we were very wrong. The kids here had grown up with each other and didn't want to include anyone else in their group. It is truly heart breaking to watch and not know what to do.

Amy said...

teenagers can be so mean. Not looking forward to that. Hated it myself.

Jackie said...

I think every ward has this to some extent, unfortunately. We certainly did when I was a teen and it stunk bad. It was really hard to keep a smile on when you're the one being left out. I'm sure it is hard watching that happen to your kid.

Princess Mommy said...

you go mom! No, your keys (theyre at the bottom of your purse)..grab Dad and Ace and go to New Orleans..I know a great ward with a great young family that will definitely include you in things!

Michelle said...

Amen, Sistah! Let your momma bear come out. The twins (YES, the TWINS) are entering YW THIS MONTH and we have some not so nice girls in our ward and I'm afraid for my daughters. BUT, they have each other which makes it a little easier, but not right if they are excluded. Can we just skip this part?