this is me now

2.17.2011

Angus Cannon Ensign Jr

my dad has been gone 10 years....my parents have been married 61 years on February 14th....He passed away February 18, 2001 after having been sick for a couple of years with diabetes and complications associated with that horrid disease.

if you want to know my dad----just meet my brothers and sisters---and me. we all share many of his best characteristics---and his weaknesses.
  • my dad is a planner...a list-maker---(so is my mom---so we were all doomed to inherit this trait).
  • my dad is as focused a person you'd ever want to meet----not a trait i got---- when he and  mom were on their temple missions, he expounded on the importance of temple work to all of us.... if he was working on his emergency preparedness, then we ALL should be working on emergency preparedness  ....when dad was sick and couldnt eat fast food---he decided that NONE of us should EVER eat fast food---no happy meals---nuthin....but before that he would eat ice cream out of the carton with a spoon with anyone who wanted to share---chocolate marshmallow or rocky road.. he also loves his chocolate---THANKS FOR THAT ONE, DAD!
  • my dad loves for his kids to learn by experience---by struggle---and loves to tell the stories ....yeah, i'm a tough love mom----most of the time---but i dont enjoy it as much as he seems to.
  • OH MY GOSH---my dad loves abundance--- when dad would come to visit us, he would fill--literally FILL our freezer with chickens---whole chickens....if one was good, two was better, five was best and 10 was WOW!.... it all makes sense now!
  • my dad loves to sing, play the ukelele, dance ..... :)
  • dad loves his toys...he collected calculators....bet he is experiencing the sweetest WIFI ever! ....and yeah---all his kids got this one---itouch/ipad/pc/pda.... car, gardening, kitchen toys----dad started us all on this!
  • my dad is bald.....thanks...yeah...thanks dad.
  • my dad loves to play games---and loves to win.....he would lead us in games of "marco polo" or "shark" in the pool...."fox and geese" in the snow.... monopoly, chess....i like games...i just dont like to keep score.
  • my dad is a worker----and wants everyone around him to be working---yeah---i got that one---Saturday mornings he would be vacuuming (his inside chore) or working out in the yard----we would take our sweet time cleaning our rooms or whatever, 'cause if you finished early---YOU'D GET ANOTHER JOB!.... i tried to not do that.
  • dad loves his family..and he loves the family as a unit...a well-oiled machine...he focused on family scripture study, family home evenings...table manners are HUGE to him....got that.
  • dad likes his clothes....white shoes, belt, tie....all with red pants, shirt and sweater----of course, it was the 80's.....i like to think i'm stylin.
  • dad has a temper......oops.
  • dad believes in the saving atonement of Jesus Christ---and bore testimony of  it as we grew up....yep, I got that.  he believes in Joseph Smith as a prophet of God and the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.... me too.
  • dad serves his fellow man.... he believes in struggle---and then compassion.  At his funeral, there were so many people that came up and shared times of when dad gave them money, bailed them out of jail, gave them a hand up---and then advice and follow-up---to better their lives----most of the time, we never knew....wish i'd gotten that.
  • dad loves my mom..... he loves to make her happy  ---with the exception of the past 10 years (dad, you are SO going to hear about that from her!).... yeah---i love my mom a lot!
now, Merf---you might be saying---your dad is gone----why are you referring to him as "is" not "was"....
because I know my dad IS.... he IS watching over his family....i believe he is up there getting my grandbabies in line---giving them advice, pushing them on the swings, playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" while they wait their turn---thinking he can help them NOT be 'terrible two's (he hates that phase)....bet he is sharing ice cream with the babies....i like to think he IS suggesting to God things that his family might need----you know, just an "oh, btw...." every now and then....i know my dad IS waiting for us (be patient, dad---yeah---NOT something he is!---me neither)  I know my dad IS...and i know my family WILL be.....forever.
love you dad---you need to call more.

7 comments:

Jackie said...

Nice post. Hard to believe it's been 10 years already.

Rondi said...

Thank you Meredith. My mom's birthday is March 7th, first one after her passing. Don't know how I will handle it. Maybe read your blog again. Someday I hope to have the faith that you do.

Merf said...

rondi---that first year is the hardest---your head tells you what you've been taught---your soul reminds you what you believe---you just have to wait for your heart to catch up---- its still hard--but the good memories outweigh the hard days.

Princess Mommy said...

You made my allergies act up. I miss him too

Michelle said...

So not fair today! Thanks for a touching post. It does get easier, but you still miss them every day.

Rondi said...

Thank you Meredith. What a beautiful way to help me through my grief. You are a great friend.

eden said...

Wonderfully said