this is me now


bordering on inappropriate thats how dave described my post----not in a mean way---but in a 'merf---you may be being too up front and blunt and personal' kinda way...... so let me take a minute to be positive all about all this ##*)^&*(&)^*!& (hows that for inappropriate, david? hmmmmmm?)
  • i have 3 guest rooms
  • our milk bill has gone down by 150%
  • i can sleep in til whenever i want to---really---not in 28 years have i been able to do that
  • david and i can travel together without a second thought.
  • i have a much better understanding of how much we hurt Heavenly Father when we turn away
  • i have every confidence and total faith that ace will come home---not whole---but home
  • i am so blessed with nurturing children---my daughters and their husbands have been so active in calling family fasts, skyping family prayers, contacting ace on their own----even Sam told Ace to go home.....and Molly assured sam that Ace was wrong....who knew?
  • we have a home teacher that is our advocate----we are not high-maintenance members of the ward---but when he saw a need---he totally jumped in with both feet....and we have a High Priest group leader that doesnt really know us---fairly new in the ward---but he came over and apologized for the 'stand-back' attitude---and expressed a desire to do what he could
  • i have a very young---like 22 yrs old--- primary president that is pregnant with like #17 child ---the oldest of which is like 3 (the use of the word 'like' is for exaggeration purposes)----and she is letting me be flaky---and yes---asks me how i am----and then apologizes for not saying anything----:)  i'm really not flaky....just distracted.
  • i went up to a sister in the ward that i know not well---but knew that there were trials going on in her life---and asked her how she was and how her family was----would never have done that before---would have assumed she had friends that were taking care of that.
  • i have always known that our families (both sides) care---but there has been a level of prayers and concern that is felt and so appreciated.  one brother even sent me an edible arrangements!---did i ever tell you the story about my sister-in-law (same one that sent me the edible arrangement) and her daughters sending me a care package of chocolate a couple years ago during a time of crisis?  i wanna be that.  (now i'm thinking that they may think i am ALWAYS in time of crisis--and that food fixes everything---well---they are half-right)
  • google and (in no particular order)---answer so many questions.
  • i was born with bottomless tear-ducts----who knew?  that may come in handy someday....or maybe its a newly recognized muscle group that i can get credit for exercising.
  • and---this part is for Heavenly Father----i have totally learned everything i need to from this experience---i get it---i understand--- thanks for the totally got it------now its time for it to be over.


Piter and Heidi said...

Gotta love the upside to every downside.... Actually... I have a big back yard you can come scream in;)

Olivia Carter said...

Man, I wish I lived closer so I could do more than just pray for you guys! I hope you know you are loved!

Lyric said...

Love you, Mom. Always bordering on inappropriate. You should add that as one of the little buttons we can check at the bottom of your posts. Haha, just kidding!

Amy said...

Not sure where my comment from the last post went, but glad to read your blog again. Missed it, missed you. Should add another button to bottom- funny

Caroline said...

You know, I remember feeling a lot like this right after my miscarriage. AND I remember HUNTING, it was seriously like the ultimate quest, for the silver lining in my thunderclouds. The silver bits were always there, and I was always grateful for the reminder, even if I just wanted to curl up and cry all day, too.

And I think I repeat that last one (I've learned the lesson, I get it, I promise!) a billion times. :)

Prayers and hugs still headed your way. said...

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