this is me now

1.21.2010

half a century

....who am i kidding? i've been half a century for a coupla years---you do the math.
I was born in Freeport, Illinois during a massive snowstorm--big surprise huh! I was the 2nd daughter, 4th child of Ace & MaryLou Ensign. (my younger brother Matt followed me by 18 months and sister Pyper 10 years after that).
I grew up in a very "Ozzie & Harriet" home---active LDS, mom stayed at home til I was in late junior high....didnt do a lot of sports...but took the requisite ballet, tap & piano lessons. We vacationed every year to see my grandparents in Salt Lake---Dad usually threw in a side-trip to a major sight (grand canyon, disneyland, yellowstone, etc) along the way.
During high school I focused on music and theater...and boys.
things we learned about me by then:
i am SO not competitive----my sister Eden was a better piano player---so i stopped working at that and focused on singing---my piano playing only got better when Eden refused to play for me to sing---so I had to do that!
i was quite obese as a teen---ultimately had surgery----best thing i've ever done---having these body issues has defined me to me my entire life....they continue to rule my thoughts.
SO SO not competitive---but pretty arrogant----taking Calculus as a senior in high school---already accepted to BYU and tested out of math, english and history for my freshman year----I was getting a C in my class---so I dropped it---without my parent's permission---i told them after the fact. " O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! when they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdomn is foolishness and it profiteth them not..." (2 Nephi 9:28)....i SO thought i knew everything.

I spent my twenties getting married---met NOT the man of my dreams and married him ( my dreams were Sylvester Stallone and Tom Jones---not marriage material---certainly not Seymours (that reference requires a post of its own)....and trying to have children---the greatest agony of my life.... and i learned i didnt know everything

by thirty i was expecting Jasmine---our third daughter....thought we were set and done (yes---the control and arrogance continues even to today!)
My thirties were spent acquiring children....6 kids in 10 years with 5-6 foster kids tossed in just to keep it interesting. I graduated with a degree in American Sign Language...I have always worked part-time---but it never defined me.... and i learned i didnt know everything

my forties----raising kids----rough, rough years---years i've blurred away---dont ask unless you want me to unleash. there were times where it was wonderful---there were times where it was unbearable. ...and i learned i knew nothing

my fifties----
hmmmmm.....i have planned 3 weddings in 2 years----and loved every minute of it.....i have 4 grandsons that are so cute i want to eat their faces off---i have a job that i was born to do---i get to sing and perform and eat in restaurants and sleep in hotels---and come home! I have a house that is done post-children....my hubband lets me play---even encourages it. my children nurture me and chat with me and surprise me and make me cry (good tears now!) My testimony of Christ in my life has never been stronger---i can see God's hand in my life---and I can see the benefit of "Jesus, Take the Wheel"---altho i still struggle with control. ...but i'm learning that its okay to not know everything.

and i like purple....spaghetti....cooking magazines...reality tv....cheap chocolate....and dogs.
btw--telling my age? i look darn good for 52! and by 62---I WILL KNOW EVERYTHING!
stay tuned...

9 comments:

Scott said...

Love it. You made my day, thanks for sharing!

Princess Mommy said...

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You already know everything!!
You look great for 62!
SUDDENLY SEYMOR!!!
I love you mommy! Im glad Ben and I could be here with you.

Merritt said...

Best post ever.

natalie said...

Fun read!

Joni said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Loved the post. You are quite an amazing (and complicated) woman. So glad that I know you!

Michelle said...

You're awesome! Love you Meredith!

Jackie said...

Fun fun fun. Good read!

Caroline said...

What?!?! I thought grandma's knew EVERYTHING!!!! Who else are daughters supposed to turn to???? SOMEONE has to know EVERYTHING!!

Oh. Guess that's God. And He teaches on His own time-table. Sheesh.

Happy birthday! :)

marcia@joyismygoal said...

Learning is so awesome and oft times painful isn't it You are kinda awesome though:)