this is me now

4.17.2012

as open as it gets

ace left home.

and i died a little.

ace is struggling with some demons and some poor choices....and not sharing them with us so we could help.

so one day after a week of attitude horribleness and us asking what is going on----he just looked at me and said "i have to go"

he packed a hiking backpack...jumped on his bike....and left.

and i died a little.

i went to school to see him---he wouldnt speak to me.

and i died a little.

he emailed me that he was safe...but wouldnt say where he was.

he came over for dinner after a week---and was fine---until we tried to get him to talk to us---and he shut down...and left.

and i died more.

no way to be cryptic----no way to sugar-coat----there ya go.

8 comments:

Katie said...

I'm sorry Meredith. That sounds heartbreaking.

Piter and Heidi said...

One of the hardest things we humans go through is letting go...when we don't know why we are letting go, it's double hard. So very sorry:( Hopefully he will come back with better choices. Guilt is a awful bedfellow but also very difficult to overcome. Praying for you all.

Jackie said...

I'm so sorry. I don't know how that feels as a mother but as a sister I do and it's heartbreaking. I'm happy you'll have some distractions coming into your life soon in the form of my family! They will cheer you!

Olivia Carter said...

I'm so sorry! You and Ace are in our prayers

Ashley said...

Oh Meredith - I'm so sorry :( I will definitely be praying for you guys - what a horrible situation.

Sharon said...

My heart aches for you guys. There is nothing harder than watching your children struggle with issues and they won't let you help.

Christie said...

Oh, Meredith, my heart aches for you.

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