this is me now

5.20.2010

its the big one, elizabeth!

if you recognize that saying---then you are of my generational timing---and you will totally understand whereof i speak....
when you hit a certain age bracket, there are experiences that are expected....teething at about 6 months....growing pains during elementary years...puberty...menopause....you get the idea....so when i go to a doctor that tells me 'YOU HAVE HIT THE TIME IN YOUR LIFE THAT THIS IS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY'-----AAAAAAAARGH!

picture this---sitting in a Rodeway Inn in Larned, KS--population 4,000---2 shows done that day---have to catch a plane in 12 hours in wichita....enjoying a nice relaxing evening ....just finished watching "The Office".....and
OUCHSTINKINOUCHWHATTHEHECKOHMYSTINKINGOSH
chest pain....nausea....sweating....pain down my arm (which arm? merf---which arm?---my right arm--okay---thats okay)....dry heaves (tmi---i know)....oh my gosh---i'm in a small town---no car---i'm going to have to call Gordon--the guy i work with---he's gonna have to take me to the ER---it will be nothing---i'll have wasted HOURS and it will be nothing....stretch---no....lay down....nope---still dying....gosh this really hurts....lay on my other side...on my back...on my stomach...sit up....stretch again...all still no.....
pain gone....total time elapsed...10 minutes.
wow---hmmm---that was weird.....
3 minutes pass

OUCHSTINKINOUCHWHATTHEHECKOHMYSTINKINGOSH
CHEST PAIN....NAUSEA....SWEATING...PAIN DOWN MY ARM (STILL THE RIGHT ARM, MERF? YEP)....DRY HEAVES...OH MY GOSH-----I'M STILL IN A SMALL TOWN....GONNA HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE....IT WILL STILL BE NOTHING....STRETCH...NO JUST LIE DOWN AND HOPE IT ENDS...THATS IT...I'M GOING OUT LIKE MARILYN MONROE---ONLY IN PAJAMAS AND NOT THE WHOLE DRUG AND ALCOHOL THING---BUT I'LL BE FOUND IN A MOTEL (MARILYN PROBABLY WASNT IN A RODEWAY INN)
pain gone...total time elapsed....10 minutes.
wow...hmmmm..that was weird...merf, if it happens again, you have to go to the hospital....i know, merf....thanks.
3 minutes pass....
nuthin
3 minutes pass....
nuthin
slept HORRIBLY...waiting for the grim reaper to knock at room #109.....
got on an airplane and got home..........called my dr on monday-----saw him on wednesday----saw a cardiologist on thursday. 2 EKG's later (hmmm---do you have an apostrophe s with plural ekgs?) and a chest x-ray later...NUTHIN. wellllll---both drs agreed i had reason for concern...and both agreed i did the right thing by calling---and both agreed i should have gone to the ER that night in Larned, KS.....and both agreed i have NO risk factors except family history and 'YOU ARE IN THAT AGE RANGE NOW'.....it was probably an esophageal (sp?) spasm....so i get an rx for that...have to do a stinkin stress test and some blood work (fasting---really?!!!!!)....so i'm fine.....and i was scared.....and i dont think i like being "at that age".

4 comments:

Jackie said...

Dislike. DOn't do that again. Glad you're okay.

Lyric said...

This is why I don't believe in small towns. So scary!

Merf said...

thanks jackie

lyric---i dont think we can blame my tachycardial infarction on larned....we just cant.

Sharon said...

That is soooooo scary. I am so glad that you were able to write a funny blog about it instead of me getting a sad phone call from Dave.