Dear Albertsons,

Please stop having sales. My deep freezer died...and we are not replacing it right now...so i have no room for your buy 1 get 2 free chicken breasts....or multiple flavors of Gold Rim Blue Bell ice cream....or Stauffers (homemade) lasagna (party size)....or "reduced for quick sale" meat of any kind. I promised Leah I'd try to do better on not stuffing my pantry with multiple jars of mayonnaise/ketchup/salad dressing/peanut butter (no, wait---that was david). Please take me off your mailing list. and now! really? triple coupons? again!? i thought we had been thru all that....I dont need 10 boxes of Hamburger Helper for $7.
I have seen "Hoarders"....and i dont want to be THAT woman.
Thank you.
Merf


Dear Merf,
Thank you for contacting our store. We value you as a customer.

GROW UP....no one held that 6 pack of Orange Crush ($3.99) to your head. You had a list....you didnt need much. You could have walked to the back of the store and picked up your Skim Milk ($1.49---kudos to dave and ace btw---way to be health-conscious!) and gone thru our many self-check-out stands and been on your way! You didnt need to walk thru the Frozen Pizza (bogo/$3.99--identical item only) aisle and its way too hot to have Blue Bell Mini Ice Cream Sandwiches (bogo/$4.79--identical item only) in your car. There are only 3 of you at home now....will you be able to finish those 2 bags of Lettuce Trio ($2.79/bogo---identical item only) before they go bad? And, while we are on the subject, you no longer have grandkids in the house....why are you still buying animal crackers ($1.00 per individual box---you know--the cute boxes with the animals in cages like on a circus train)? Yes, I understand that you want to be THAT grandma---so you are welcome for Pillsbury cookie dough on sale (3/$4.00)---but who are you thinking is going to eat those cookies?
We love you and again, value as a customer---you keep us in business--impulse and emotional shoppers are our life-blood--and we appreciate all you do for us..the not making menus, the changing your mind about dinner at the last minute, the 'i found the recipe for Rachael Ray's devilled eggs and need bacon" moments...we will always have a grocery cart ready for you...but PLEASE! dont hold us accountable for your lack of self-control and....you know your mom taught you better than this.... dont come shopping when you are hungry.
see you soon,
Joe Albertson

ps....try to dress up a little more when you come into the store---we have a rep to maintain.

E>

thumb up/sssh with jas

pound heart and asl i love you

you are cuter

your momma

frog necklace

the position has been filled.

I've become THAT woman

I was walking into Target....looked down at my feet----I WAS WEARING MY SLIPPERS---MY HOUSESHOES---MY STINKIN HOUSEshoes! I had a totally cute outfit on---probably khaki shorts----THAT MATCHED MY SLIPPERS.......


this picture is REALLY that day---not at target---but those are my slippers. ....i USED to be THAT woman in the high heels---matching every outfit.....and now i go to Target...in my slippers...sigh....so....I realized......

I HAVE BECOME THAT WOMAN---

so i started to notice other things....other women i have become--or have always been----some i totally accept about myself---and kinda like----others i always think i will change---but probably wont. I want to have a clean refrigerator----I dont have elementary kids or primary kids drawing pictures anymore---so i shouldnt have a messy refrigerator....
I want to have UNclutter----if you look close you will see the stuff i pulled off the couch to orchestrate this picture---dont judge me----i will someday be that woman---i get closer and closer every year.
I am the woman with piles...and i know exactly what is in every pile...and there is a reason for every pile....and the pile will disappear...eventually....and the pile will disappear if you call ahead...please call ahead....or dont---it would be a good learning experience for me.

i like sweets (does that come as a big surprise? have you read my blog? I STINKIN REVIEWED HERSHEY KISSES!) anyway...sorry...i do.....i have always----always will---i am the woman with the sugar in her purse....want some?

I want to be the woman who MAKES the sweets---and i do---but not much and not cookies---I hate standing over the oven every 8 minutes.....BUT I AM THE WOMAN with sugar in my purse.....and i always share......and i have a bucket of 100 cookie cutters---because I WILL be THAT grandma---that has cookies.

I have always wanted to be athletic---i love sports--- i want to walk, play volleyball and tennis----had i been an athletic teen---i think i would have continued---but i didnt---and so i dont---but i still want to---lots. i have always loved babies---everyone's babies---i borrowed babies---i got babies-----now my babies are having babies.....there is not an age I dont love ---well....except 6....and 13....but, other than those---i love babies.....of all ages....i am THAT woman....

holding the baby...

feeding it M & M's....

wearing my slippers.