peace in....

very tender mercies
random rays of light
the release of tears
seeing God's hand and love in times when I cant see anything else
family that prays for each other
epiphanies

i find joy in.....

sorry about the 6 months since my last post----got a lot to say---but not too much to tell---crap and happiness have happened----but today---I choose to find joy in-----

playing the piano for primary
singing songs with the nursery
having kids in primary and nursery come up and say hi---even an 11 yr old boy put his arm around me and said hi----not too cool for school
playing the organ for church---been 8 months since I did that---and I like to open it up---and they let me
facetiming with my grandkids---even for non-sensical conversations
cute nephews---adults---that come and visit
sleeping in
making a date with my grandboys to see Artie's Playhouse shows...and to eat superhero snow cones at Buds

there is so much to be sad about.....but not today.

blurred lines

...when your body is dealing with pain--- life becomes a blur---

I remember crying---- that I couldn't shower---that I couldn't go to the bathroom and get up off the toilet by myself---tmi I know----I was scared to move in case I lose another extremity---I just knew everyday was a day of healing and I had to wait it out....glad I took pictures

between November 9-dec 10ish----blurred lines----I remember friends coming to visit---I remember playing with the grands----leah tells me we went to see Frozen----I don't remember the movie AT ALL! I remember sitting in the theater...... thanksgiving came and went in a blur---- never did eat dessert----jasmine and leah cooked----2nd year in a row I missed out on thanksgiving---one of my favorites!

got my cast on my wrist right before thanksgiving---HALLELUJAH! what a difference that was! and my stitches came out of my foot---

the weather made it easy to stay at home---cold spells coming thru----sitting in the wheelchair I would kind of cave in on myself---so it wasn't comfortable for very long---

time heals all wounds---especially physical ones with incisions

 my view of the backyard---my camera positioned so I could see what was happening out my window behind me

 my view most of the time----puffy foot  under my heated blanket

 right after my wrist surgery---before the cast went on

 

 purple cast----duh

close up with no stitches! sorry if it grosses you out---but that was significant!

 can you see the imprint of the knee scooter brand in my skin? yeah---that's how we roll

quite a spectacle to just get me out of my room into the front room---much less to the theater to see Hunger Games---jasmine was a blessing!

toppling over

....so I'm getting around good on my scooter----sure---I carefully get to the edge of my bed---nature calls and all---get on my scooter---its 3 a.m.---head towards the powder room---done, done and done----head back to bed----SQUIRREL---hmmm---what is that? I musta dropped something (cant even remember what it was now!) and so, of course----I lean over to pick it up......

LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN---FALLING DOWN---FALLING DOWN!  I go over---breaking my fall with my left wrist....breaking my left wrist---2 bones of my left wrist.

picture this----non-weight bearing right foot---broken wrist---3 a.m.---calling to david to wake him up---but he cant get me up---NON WEIGHT BEARING----I'm crying and moaning---- so he calls the ambulance and off we go----I barely remember anything except crying at how much it hurt....and hurt it did.

this was on Saturday, Nov 9----saw my podiatrist Monday---he just looked at me and said "I am so sorry"....david made a thousand phone calls to find an orthopedic dr that could see me right away---found dr khubchandani----saw him Tuesday----surgery on Wednesday.

I no longer feel human.

jasmine and her kids clear their calendar and come up to care for me---david has a trial----

one day at a time---breathe---

fileted like a fish

I have been anticipating surgery for nigh unto a year----after a coupla months of physical therapy to no relief---all concerned agreed it was time for me to have my toe---2nd toe on my right foot---way too long for its own good---on fire every day----hammertoeing up and over the big toe...so I decided to be fileted....truly---2nd toe to be cut from knuckle to about 3" into my foot....yikes....plantar plate (ball of your foot) tear to be sewn up---knuckle removed/bone shaved and rejointed....yikes.

but not til November---because I am SO important and necessary that the world would stop revolving if I was out for 8 weeks---(truly---there are only 3 of us at work and I'm the only chick---so it would have been a problem)----so I beasted thru til a break in our shows----the holidays....it was the silliest decision EVER---I was in pain every day---toe on fire kinda pain....but that's how important I am.

October 29th, 2013---I went in under the knife---how ready was I, you ask? ready enough that even tho dear hubby was out of town for a trial, I was still willing to go in---so leah and boys came up to take care of me.

surgery went well--came home---stayed up until 5 am the next day! felt great---non-weight bearing boot---foot raised---see the dr in 2 weeks for stitches out...yay! I have very little memory of the next few days---pain kicked in---but the fam took good care of me...my sister Eden came up from Austin (3 hr drive) and visited for a few hours and then drove home---just to check on me!  my mom sent me a box of all things purple---one to open each day for two weeks! my brother and sister sent me a MASSIVE box of chocolate and magazines....I have a great family.

lyric came up over the weekend to help me out---I was up on my knee scooter and tooling around to the bathroom and back.....too good to be true?

 personalized purple m & M's from the halls

 cannon and Jonas with the BOX of chocolates from Marc & Pat Ensign

 are you seeing a pattern? carebox from the Webbs

 one of the packages from my mom for opening everyday

my view

baby steps....from no steps

i'm way behind---but its hard to type one-handed---and now I am pushing myself all in the name of physical therapy.....if you don't know why I am one handed---WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  that's okay---I'm sure you have a life outside of wondering about mine---so, in baby steps, I am going to catch you up.

October 2013

dave and I flew to san diego, ca for Shirley's wedding.  Shirley and sandy are two of my favorite people---their lives have intertwined with ours for 20 years---so when Shirley announced she was getting married in the san diego temple---we were so there.

 one of the coolest things ever---Shirley's baby, Reese---and her adoptive parents and sister were all there--- so cool---to see how far Shirley had come in a year and to see the huge outpouring of love for her and nick.

 

 dave and I detoured a bit and went to find the house where he was raised ---bit smaller than you remember---neighborhood is a bit more rundown---but good memories

 this tree is on the street outside his home in Torrance---so craggly---so much character.

 spent a morning at the Mormon Battalion site in San Diego---very interesting and found one of David's relatives was part of the battalion!

 yeah---this is us

we got to stay with my sister, Pyper and her family---I love San Diego---love Shirley---love Pyper!

she has a name!

I dont often.....

I don't often post 'warm fuzzy' videos---but this one hit me ---- and I wanted to have it somewhere---and to share it----

define the word 'retired'

 when you think of retirement---you think of , or at least I do----or at least I did----you think of downsizing to a condo, travel, going on a mission, being 65.....gray hair, moving a bit slower....you get the idea.....this is kind of what I pictured:

yeah----this is my idea of retired

okay--i'm having trouble with pictures and spacing....but i'll push on.... please keep reading

so....david retired yesterday after 27 years working for the state of texas....and started today at his new job as executive director for Computers for the Blind----a small non-profit agency based in Richardson (just north of Dallas).  He goes into the 'office' every 2 weeks for a board of directors meeting...... he will work from home in the office we have set up in a corner of our bedroom.  He also continues with his ExpertsonBlindness consulting/expert witness business---- so he has 2 part-time jobs....both from home.... i'm sure we'll be fine.....really----we'll be great

Day 1.....david comes home from meeting with 2 attorneys....eats some chicken wings....changes clothes.... I made spaghetti for dinner---so I ate spaghetti....apparently we have things to still work out....like talking about what is for dinner and what was NOT....and that its NOT okay to talk the entire time I am watching Dance Moms but I have to be quiet during a rerun of Persons of Interest---yes---even after 33 years we still are working out the kinks.

Day 1 evening.....we go to the half price on Tuesday dollar movie to see RIPD (totally redbox it---its a clever silly movie)----after the movie david tells me that 5 minutes INTO the movie, he realized he had seen it before.....I must have been either on a work trip or doing a show at the local community theater.   does anyone else find that to be hilarious?

AND SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!

retired----we are not downsizing to a condo---we paid off the house..... we are travelling but have been doing that for years....the mission? our goal is 5 years from now (our first one will be in Nauvoo, Illinois---"sunset on the Mississippi"---a musical revue done outdoors--duh--on the banks of the Mississippi river--every night....gray hairs? I call them white highlights....moving slower? I am having foot surgery in November---then no more slower----and, for the record....WE ARE DECADES (alright---decade) AWAY FROM 65!!!

 

retired=twice the husband/half the money

I've never seen anything like it in my life

david and i are not hoarders---but pack rats----probably----and we had 6 kids---and all their stuff---and saved clothes from season to season to hand down---and 8 bikes---and scooters----and memorabilia----and a freezer---and david's tools-----and i bought school supplies in bulk---and toilet paper and .....you get the idea.

and we've always had big cars---big cars that don't fit lengthwise in a garage---or heightwise---so it was easy to just toss stuff in the garage---since the cars wouldn't go in there anyway.

and then the kids started leaving---and we cleaned out their bedrooms----but kept their stuff---in the garage----

then we got the convertible.....and that little girl needs to be in a garage.

so every day i would go thru 2 boxes----stuff from weddings 5 years ago--- and trash or donate it.  the only clothes in there now are my winter clothes.  suitcases are upstairs in the attic----we have 20 empty plastic buckets ready for leah to use to put their stuff in storage----we had a shredded ping pong table (we like ping pong table---but i broke the table)---- but I knew there was light at the end of a tunnel----a very long crowded tunnel

then we got into a tiff-----and i went to the theater to see a show----alone

came home----to this-----

for 33 years our garage has been a joke---one year we asked our sons in law to clean it out for our present----but that mostly meant rearrange-----

I cried when I saw this

awwwww-----lovely september-----lets be cool

Meredith----whats with all the bruises?

new bruise each show!

august was spent performing "A Wrinkle in Time"---my first non-musical performance since high school.....I got to play the part of Mrs. Whatsit------which means I got to play me----an animated me that sparkled with glitter and fell off benches and slid down ramps..... I met some amazing people that I got to learn from----as always----I love the process.

august was stinkin hot----but leah and joe came and worked so hard to help our backyard be greener and lusher----and it is----

august was a couple of Dancing Moose Shows

September----david retired.

WHAT THE WHAT THE WHAT THE???????!!!!!!!!!!!!

David was offered a position as executive director for Computers For the Blind----a small non-profit that takes donated computers and refurbishes them and sends them out internationally to visually-impaired people.....he'll do 20 hrs a week working at home----going into the office for board meetings in Dallas every few weeks.  His job is to grow the company and its branding.....get more professionals on the advisory board.....so he is done working with the state-----he has worked for the state of texas for 28 years! this whole decision thing happened in about 4 days----altho we had been talking about leaving the state job (not leave texas) for awhile.   Now, David may be old enough to retire----but I all of a sudden become the token wife----cause aint NO way i'm old enough!

twice the husband----half the money

i'm still doing Dancing Moose---and David still has 7 cases he is working on---with 2 trials coming up....

we are cleaning out the garage to put the convertible in there----we 've never been able to put a car in the garage----but it is actually happening!

leah and her family are going to be living with us from dec-june ----joe is done with medical school classes and just needs to wait to find out where they are going for residency-----so knowing that we eat different---and our fridge was not big enough for all of us-----we downgraded (well-----in size)---

the nelson's fridge is perfectly happy in the garage!  well---we really didn't ask her if she was happy----but bet she's happy she is about to be filled with all sorts of yummy goodness!

Meredith is doing okay----lots of change----i'm not sure about all that---but i'm certainly seeing the hand of God in my ability to be calm, in opportunities that are opening and blessings that are being afforded..... probably just jinxed myself huh.+

 

I want to get back into things that I took myself out of---ward choir----marching band----yeah-----its time.

road trip

 My nephew Michael got married to Amanda Saul in Quincy, Il on July 20, 2013----so what better reason for a road trip for the aunts! Pyper flew in from California, Eden drove up from Austin---and we three piled into our car and drove 12 hours to Quincy.  We sang everything from Eminem to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to Carrie Underwood to Michael Jackson----had a great time together.  Our first dinner there was Ruby Tuesday----a lot of emotional history for me at Ruby Tuesday---but I pushed thru it and had some amazing chicken noodle soup!

 I tried to take a picture---but you know what i look like!

 Friday was spent shopping at Cato's (sorry David)----then the wedding party had the rehearsal while THE AUNTS decorated for the rehearsal dinner.  Mike and Mandy are both MAJOR musicians---so of course our theme was music----then we all meandered over to Culvers---TRADITION!  (left to right---Austin, 18, Michael 29, Carrie (gf of Luke) and Jake (22)

 left to right---matt---father of the groom---my kid brother---=-his wife shelley---there is carrie again---eden---one of the aunts---my big sister

 more of the table----pyper---baby sister----Pat---married to my brother marc---she is one of THE AUNTS---a nicer person you'll never meet----marc---big brother---fancies himself quite a photographer

 brian---brother of the groom----this is the nephew (with his wife ashley and my other nephew jake) that stayed with us last summer killing bugs.

                                                                    Charlie's angels!

                                                                  me and my mom---the best

                                                        sitting around waiting for the wedding

                                                        these were on the ends of the pews----what a great idea!

                                                            matt escorting mom

                                                                     mike looked so happy

                                                           matt's oldest grandson, Elliot, was the ring bearer---nailed it

                                                                eden and mom

                                                             just so you think its only me---this is marc

                                                           luke(21) and marc dancing together at the wedding----um---yeah

it was a great weekend---we then turned around and drove to Kansas City and dropped Pyper off at the airport and eden and I cruised back to fort worth---and she hopped in her car and drove home to Lago Vista (near Austin).

What a blessing that, having been siblings for 44-63 years---we really enjoy being together---the only ones that werent there (other than spouses) was My oldest brother Ace and his wife Judy---and they were missed---Judy always adds to the conversation with her infectious laugh.

so----to the next grandchild to get married-----we'll gladly do this again!